Boss: He's going to either London or England. I'm not sure which.

Pasadena, California

Overheard by: Paper Pusher

Office grunt: … So then I said, ‘Bill*, just throw a bunch of monkeys in a container and have them eat all the bananas.’

1111 Broadway
Oakland, California

Publicist: It was amazing. Stevie could do everything. He could leave his apartment, go to the elevator, everything.
Proofer: Wow. He didn’t even need a cane?
Publicist: Of course not; he’s not that old.

1438 North Gower Street
Los Angeles, California

Accounting: You submitted a payment request for a renewal fee.
Peon: Yes.
Accounting: Can you find out how long the renewal term is for?
Peon: It says “annual renewal fee” on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, I saw that, but do you know when it’s valid until?
Peon: It says valid from October 31, 2005 on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, but can you make sure? You never know it could be for like two years or something.

3700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Frazzled accountant: So yes, please mail me the statement ASAP! Yes, thanks, thanks. Okay, love you.
(after a minute, to peon)
Did I just say “I love you”?


Customer service girl eating from Christmas popcorn tin: Ew! These are sterile!

6141 Riverside Drive
Riverside, California

Overheard by: sylvie

Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn

Coalinga, California

Worker: Dammit! I got a paper cut! Agh!
Boss: Better than getting stabbed with a knife, stapled in the eye, or run over by the UPS truck.

9500 Owensmouth Avenue
Chatsworth, California

Visiting sales rep: Wow, that aquarium is really cool! Is it a lot of work?
Desk owner: Thanks. It’s not too hard once it’s set up for a while.
Visiting sales rep: I’ve never seen one with all those things with testicles in it before.
Desk owner: [Silence until sales rep obliviously boards elevator.]

75 Battery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: We didn’t buy her product.

Boss: There are many people who are much more like me than I am.

2560 9th Street
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: anonymous coward