Auditor: Well, of course I'd rather pray to a waving kitten instead of a guy nailed on a cross. But it's blasphemous.

Watsonville, California

Overheard by: Calling HR Now

Coworker on phone to husband: We have to start hiding that camera from her. Yeah, yeah… You want me to beat her? Honey, I’m kidding! I’m just kidding! You know I never beat the kids.

14750 Miller Avenue
Fontana, California

Overheard by: Sara

Office girl arriving in meeting: Is there anywhere I can sit?
Manager: My face, but I can’t say that because I just got out of sensitivity training.

North Hollywood, California

Overheard by: I have a face too

Worker #1: Hey, what's generally better, Intel or Athlon?
Worker #2: Of course, Athlon.
Worker #3: What?! No! That's the dark side!

Irvine, California

Overheard by: Jon

Female coworker on phone: For lack of a better word, “pop art,” you know, like that banana picture you have.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Joy

Employee: Hey, it’s The Bobster! I was just out–
Bob: Seriously, why did you just add “the” and “ster” to my name?

27450 Ynez Road
Temecula, California

Overheard by: Jake Glazier

Girl: Can you keep this desk clean?
Guy: What? The desk is clean. Stop hating!
Girl: Hey, hey, don’t say that, I’m not a cock-blocker. I don’t cock-block.
Guy: What the fuck does that have to do with my desk?

350 South Figueroa
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Sexual tension in the workplace?

Pharmacist: Okay, that prescription will be filled in 45 minutes.
Old man: Oh my, I'll be dead by then!

Santa Barbara, California

Cube neighbor, after getting off phone with daughter: Oh, my kids!
Warehouse employee, walking by: We should all kill our kids. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?

Irvine, California

Overheard by: scared cube-dweller

Lauren*: So I went on this diet and I was eating cream of mushroom soup. And I thought, “wow, this is awfully thick. It's like pudding!” Then I realized you're supposed to put water in it.
Boss: Jesus Christ, Lauren*!
Lauren*: I know, right?
Boss: Why did we hire you again?

Fontana, California

Overheard by: Aeirlys