Coworker on phone: Well, while you’re waiting you should warm up the manatee.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Coworker on phone: Well, while you’re waiting you should warm up the manatee.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Employee #1: Is it warm outside?
Employee #2: Eh, it’s a little chilly. Grab a sweater.
Employee #3: Or a vest. Or a sweater vest!
Employee #2: Oh, Sally*, no! It’s never sweater vest weather.
1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
Bookkeeper: He has a monkey! It’s a medically trained monkey. It can dial 911. What it tells them, I’m not sure…
Western Avenue
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: the sugar monster
Peon #1, after dealing with an idiot tech from another company: Maybe she has an extra chromosome.
Peon #2: Are you saying she has Downs Syndrome?
Peon #3: Maybe it’s like in Dune where you have the extra chromosome and you’re super-human.
Peon #2: Something tells me Frank Herbert wasn’t a geneticist.
Peon #1: I don’t know. Some of those retards are really strong. They’ll rip your fuckin’ arms off.
160 South Old Springs Road
Anaheim Hills, California
Overheard by: ApollyonBoB
Tech guy: Yeah, Betty* left a Post-it at my desk because her computer was broken — it wouldn’t turn on, but then when I got there it seemed to be fine.
HR rep: Oh, she actually came to me about it so I just left the Post-it for her just in case, but I’m pretty sure the reason it wouldn’t turn on was because she was pressing the big round Dell symbol instead of the start button.
5700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: I can turn on my computer
Trainee: My boyfriend likes this perfume. He says it smells like the inside of a clean woman.
Training class, Cosmetic company
California
Dude #1: That’s impossible.
Dude #2: No, it isn’t. I’ve seen a chick do it with a blender before.
Dude #1: Holy shit.
Sacramento City College
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Melissa
Male law student #1: In chambers the judge said that as soon as those guys get to prison somebody is going to make them their bitch.
Male law student #2: So he said they’d pretty much be full-on ass-raped? Just like that?
Male law student #1: Yeah, pretty much.
Male law student #2: God, that’d be horrible.
Female law student #1: Unless you were gay. Then it’d be like heaven!
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Attaboy Finch
Guy #1: How was your meeting?
Guy #2: Short and sweet — I have absolutely no action items, except for one.
2141 Rosecrans Avenue
El Segundo, California
Overheard by: they think my iPod is on
Two-year-old girl singing: Get the money, get the beer, get the money, get the beer…
Dressing room, Fashion Q
Granada Hills, California
Overheard by: Saucy
