Corporate peon #1: I was nervous during the interview. More than normal for some reason. He asked too many damn questions.
Corporate peon #2: Hard questions?
Corporate peon #1: Not hard. Just required detailed answers. I don’t like the “what do you bring to the table” question.
Corporate peon #2: “I bring diligence and a positive attitude, I’m proactive and can get the job done on my own or with a group.”
Corporate peon #1: I bring sexiness.
11601 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Co-worker #1: Oh my god, he’s peeing under my desk.
Co-worker #2: Oh! Sorry.
Co-worker #1: Where’s the tissue? Paper towels or something? He’s leaking, take him outside. I’m serious.
Co-worker #2: Don’t freak out!
Co-worker #1: I’m not mad, I’m just grossed out.
12345 World Trade Drive
San Diego, California
Co-worker: Let me grab that package later since, right now, I’m double-fisting.
11400 W. Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: lonecomic
Co-worker #1: How do I make this print faster?
Co-worker #2: Put water on it.
10960 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Selaf Nek
Boss: I don't know if it's because she was black, and I'm not used to hiring black people, but I just didn't get a good feeling from her.
Sales guy: Yeah, plus, her eyes were kind of red.
Boss: A black alcoholic. That's just what we need.
Los Angeles, California
Boss to assistant wearing turquoise earrings: Oh, wow, it's like cinco de mayo!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: What do you even say to that
Female coworker, after cutting in line to get her lunch: What happened to “ladies first”?
Male coworker: The womens' rights movement.
Potrero Hill
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: amanda
Salesgirl, answering the phone: Hey, it's for you.
Coworker: Who is it?
Salesgirl: Um…he said he was “naked”
Coworker: Oh, that's my husband!
Department Store
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Odd Name
Male employee #1: I am going out on a date tonight with a 4'11″ Filipina. She runs triathlons.
Male employee #2: That's short. You know, her head will be at about your stomach.
Male employee #1, after long pause: I kind of want her to break me.
Sacramento, California
Intern: So do any celebrities subscribe to our magazine?
Circulation guru: Actually, James Caan and Shirley MacLaine are longtime subscribers. Even Dennis Hopper got our mag for awhile.
Intern (sighing): I mean like real celebrities. You know: Tila Tequila or Zac Efron…
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: ugh.
