Male law student #1: In chambers the judge said that as soon as those guys get to prison somebody is going to make them their bitch.
Male law student #2: So he said they’d pretty much be full-on ass-raped? Just like that?
Male law student #1: Yeah, pretty much.
Male law student #2: God, that’d be horrible.
Female law student #1: Unless you were gay. Then it’d be like heaven!
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Attaboy Finch
Guy #1: How was your meeting?
Guy #2: Short and sweet — I have absolutely no action items, except for one.
2141 Rosecrans Avenue
El Segundo, California
Overheard by: they think my iPod is on
Two-year-old girl singing: Get the money, get the beer, get the money, get the beer…
Dressing room, Fashion Q
Granada Hills, California
Overheard by: Saucy
Mailroom worker: I can’t take him to the Christmas party — he oh beast!
Receptionist: He’s a beast? You mean he’s ugly?
Mailroom worker: No, he’s fat. Like really fat. He’s oh beast.
Floor 7, 9460 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California
Blonde: So, have you taken any Lamaze or yoga classes to help with the birth?
Preggers: No, the thought of having to be around all those pregnant women made me sick.
Oakland, California
Coworker #1: Man, my digital camera broke. Now the sky turns pink and clouds appear green.
Coworker #2: Oh, really? That sucks.
Coworker #1: In the pictures, I mean.
Coworker #2: [Silence.]
19111 Pruneridge Avenue
Cupertino, California
Office girl with flower arrangement: Look! Look what I got!
Office manager: Wow! Where did you get those from?
Office girl: The girls that helped me chair the dinner. Oh! Look, [gushing as she reads the card], ‘From two bitches to the biggest bitch we know!’ Oh! How sweet!
Office manager: That is just so sweet of them!
Girl and manager, together: Awww!
Hanford, California
Overheard by: not one of her bitches
Coworker #1: Did Jim* tell you that you had to sniff these to make sure the sensors weren’t burnt?
Coworker #2: Sniff what?
Coworker #1: These units.
Coworker #2: No, Jim did not ask if I would sniff units.
133 Aviation Boulevard
Santa Rosa, California
Girl #1: Let’s prank someone.
Girl #2: Oh! We can call and say, ‘Is your refrigerator running?’
Girl #1: Exactly!
Girl #2: … I forget the punch line to that one.
Girl #1: Yeah… me, too.
330 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
Third grader: Teacher, Tameka* is being nasty.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Third grader: I asked Eric* to use his dictionary, and she started laughing.
Teacher: Which means…?
Third grader: She was thinking something nasty.
Teacher: You mean, you can read her mind?
Third grader: I don’t know how to explain…
Teacher: Did she say anything out loud?
Third grader: No, but she was thinking nasty stuff.
2351 East Redwood Road
Ceres, California
Overheard by: an observing teacher
