California

Receptionist: Hey, did Kevin leave?
Co-worker: No, he’s gone for the day.

16443 Minnesota Avenue
Paramount, California

Overheard by: Stella Bella

Worker: I like my shirt, but I’m afraid my boobs are going to fall out. Which would be fine somewhere else, but not here. That’s how I feel about all my clothes: “great for not here.”

3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California

Attendee #1: Can it be programmed so our office and cell phones ring simultaneously?
Attendee #2: What do you mean by simultaneously?

2901 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California

Overheard by: Rachel Marie

Manager: The organization just gets bloated. There are all these Vice Presidents, and each of them has 10 or 12 locations reporting to him. And they all need resources, so he puts his team together. Sometimes you just need an enema.

901 East Whitmore Avenue
Modesto, California

Worker #1: Here’s a copy of the memo.
Worker #2: What’s it say?
Worker #1: Nothing. It’s absolutely useless.

3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California

Assistant: Well, do you still have that copy of the Specific Plan?
Project Manager: I don’t know where it is.
Assistant: Wasn’t it on your desk yesterday?
Project Manager: Yeah, but I think it’s spread its legs.
Assistant: What?
Project Manager: You know, spread its legs. You know what I mean.
Assistant: Sprouted legs?

1580 Metro Drive
Costa Mesa, California

CTO: My interview article is in USA Today!
Programer: Can you send me the link? Never mind, I’ll just Google “USA Today”.

600 Newport Center Drive
Newport Beach, California

Co-worker: Ew, I just walked through someone’s fart cloud.

4575 Ruffner Street
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Olivia Gomez

Boss: We had so many ideas outside of the box we needed a box to keep them in.

1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Secretary: [Helen]’s not here. She must be someplace else.

12555 Euclid Street
Garden Grove, California