Irish construction worker #1, exiting job site: You know what's wrong with this job?
Irish construction worker #2, behind him: What?
Irish construction worker #1: We're workin' on an Irish bar, and there's no bloody beer!
Irish construction worker #2: Sure there is! There's Guinness!
Both, in chorus: In cans! (they spit on the ground)
Haigh Street
San Francisco, California
Programmer: Okay, so he asked us for a digital signature solution to document tracking and approval… Ideas?
Analyst: What if we got a couple midgets, and bought a few Etch A Sketches…?
1932 Wildcat Canyon Road
San Diego, California
Client: There are a lot of things you can eat that aren’t food.
Photo studio
Culver City, California
Student: What is this bit?
Professor: Which bit?
Student: The kinda-purplish, squishy bit.
Professor, to assistant: Do you know what that is?
Assistant: No.
Professor, to student: That’s not important. You can ignore that.
USC Anatomy lab
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Kylie
Assistant manager, about e-mail to customer: Wow, that was so much bullshit I didn’t even know when to stop!
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Boss on phone: That’s what I’m saying! He’s had his beer, he’s had his Vegas, he’s a Muslim, and I’m going to hell.
1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Customer: By chance, was your mom a flight attendant?
Employee: Why, do you think you’re my dad?
Costa Mesa, California
Overheard by: Still laughing now
Interviewer: I’m sorry. From my conversation with your former supervisor I expected you to be a man!
Interviewee: I’m a girl! I’ll show you!
Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, California
Jewish executive: The CEO of [name] company is coming from Israel for negotiations.
Redneck executive (exasperated): I hate dealing with Israelis! They're the hardest people to negotiate with. They're never satisfied with any deal you work out.
Jewish executive: (silence)
Redneck executive: It's like water torture!
Peon: Um, I think that's the Chinese.
San Mateo, California
Office worker: Lemme forward you this e-mail from slave whore Ella*!
BDSM Production Company
Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Joy
