California

VP, after phone call: What are these guys, incompetent? [Looks at phone] Is that thing hung up?

Ventura and Balboa Boulevards
Encino, California

Overheard by: Wish I didn’t work in the Valley

Woman on phone: It’s like asking a rocket scientist to make a pizza–I just can’t do it!

707 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Ilya

Broker on phone: Blame it on greed…Uh huh…No, I’m saying that greed is a well-known, widely accepted motivator, so just say it was greed. They’ll understand.

10960 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Eavesdropper

Office worker: Is this the meeting or the meeting about the meeting?

8687 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, California

Irish construction worker #1, exiting job site: You know what's wrong with this job?
Irish construction worker #2, behind him: What?
Irish construction worker #1: We're workin' on an Irish bar, and there's no bloody beer!
Irish construction worker #2: Sure there is! There's Guinness!
Both, in chorus: In cans! (they spit on the ground)

Haigh Street
San Francisco, California

Programmer: Okay, so he asked us for a digital signature solution to document tracking and approval… Ideas?
Analyst: What if we got a couple midgets, and bought a few Etch A Sketches…?

1932 Wildcat Canyon Road
San Diego, California

Client: There are a lot of things you can eat that aren’t food.

Photo studio
Culver City, California

Student: What is this bit?
Professor: Which bit?
Student: The kinda-purplish, squishy bit.
Professor, to assistant: Do you know what that is?
Assistant: No.
Professor, to student: That’s not important. You can ignore that.

USC Anatomy lab
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Kylie

Assistant manager, about e-mail to customer: Wow, that was so much bullshit I didn’t even know when to stop!

11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Boss on phone: That’s what I’m saying! He’s had his beer, he’s had his Vegas, he’s a Muslim, and I’m going to hell.

1st Street
Los Angeles, California