Manager: It's getting a little soft.
Accountant: You might not want to use a twig.
Toronto
Canadia
Manager: It's getting a little soft.
Accountant: You might not want to use a twig.
Toronto
Canadia
Paralegal: What color is mozzarella?
Office manager: White, why?
Paralegal: Ummm…I'm going to need an extra bag, I am cleaning the fridge and that bag of mozzarella is like dark brown and green, and I don't mean spots…
Office manager: Uh-uh, here. (hands over bag) I hope it doesn't start moving.
(paralegal laughs and heads toward kitchen)
Paralegal (one minute later): Hey, what color is kiwi suppose to be?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: joey
Boss: Why hasn’t the mail come in yet?
HR: We have a new postal carrier and she hasn’t come in yet.
Boss: Is she nice looking?
HR: Well, she’s inconsistent. Sometimes she delivers at 2:30, sometimes it’s 1:00.
Boss: What has that got to do with how she looks?
HR: It doesn’t. Welcome to HR.
81 Apsley Street
Hudson, Massachusetts
Boss to secretary: Before you send that in the mail there's one caveat.
Secretary: Who's Juan Caveat? Does he get a copy of the invoice?
Boss: No, no. “Caveat” means “condition.” There's one condition.
Cockeysville, Maryland
Project manager, about interviewee: He's like Ted Bundy sexy!
Ada, Michigan
Overheard by: Just a temp
40-something owner: I was working with my horse this weekend but he was being difficult. He was acting like a faggot!
Gay employee: Excuse me! I find that extremely offensive!
40-something owner: Well, you know what I mean. “Faggot” is what my friends and I used to call each other when we were kids.
Southern California
Overheard by: Could have been anybody…
Boss: He has a bit of a shiny face, though. In my experience, ones with a shiny face are all pillow biters.
Office
Frankston
Australia
Overheard by: Receptionist
Office supervisor: Could you please send our new price list to our office in Kuala Lumpur?
Receptionist: Is Kuala Lumpur a real place?
Office supervisor: Oh my god! (laughs, then leaves)
Receptionist, to other office colleagues: Why did he laugh at me?
Colleagues: You have got to be kidding!
Belmont
Western Australia
Australia
Male coworker: Your mom.
Female coworker #1: Leave that whore outta this.
Female coworker #2: Whoah, did she just say…?
Female coworker #1: Yes, I did.
Boss: The “h” word?
Female coworker #1: Actually, it's the “w” word.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
