Contractor: I mean, I don't want to just jerk her off…
Cary, North Carolina
Contractor: I mean, I don't want to just jerk her off…
Cary, North Carolina
Boss (walks in and says, deadpan): My wife had a stripper over this weekend and now my entire house smells like coconut oil.
Victoria Parade
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Feeling inqdequate about MY weekend…
Boss, showing book owned by Thomas Jefferson: You know, I get turned on by Jefferson.
Richmond, Virginia
Boss: Yes, and the other lady's name is “Glenola,” like a Granola bar.
Caller: “Glenola”?
Boss: Yeah, she's the black one.
Sun City, Arizona
Overheard by: Mama en Fuego
Art Director: We had another “captain literal” sighting in a client
meeting today. People are stupid.
Copywriter: Be less creative. It always works for me.
930 S. Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Boss: Carl! It's a good thing you aren't a dog or I'd have put you down by now!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: BFScollegegirl
Pregnant manager: Are those peanut butter eggs, or just chocolate eggs?
Account exec: They're some of each. But we're not telling you which is which.
Pregnant manager: That's okay. I'll just eat them all.
Augusta, Georgia
Funeral director: So, you know all the procedures now, right?
Secretary: Yes, I believe so, I just never had to go get the organ out for a service.
Funeral director: Well, you know where it’s at, right?
Secretary: Yeah, so you just go in the back and pull it out and stick it in there, right?
2157 Oak Street
Wyandotte, Michigan
Boss: So when it works, does it work?
CTO: When it's working, it should work.
Boss: Good, because if it didn't work when it worked that just wouldn't work.
Houston, Texas
Director: Here’s the travel laptop I’m returning. Can you delete some of the files I put on there?
IT Manager: Yeah, sure, I’ll clean it out. I better not find any pubic hairs stuck in the keyboard.
1100 L Street NW
Washington, DC
