Supervisor to manager: You know I’m leaving work early today, right?
Manager: That’s right… For what, again?
Supervisor: I’m getting my cat shaved.
(pause)
Supervisor: My cat… like, our pet cat. A feline.
Ambassador East Hotel
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: laughing one cubicle over
Engineer with cane: I have a degenerative back problem. The discs push together and the stuff that comes out is the consistency of crab.
Murray, Utah
Overheard by: With a K or a C?
Receptionist on phone: I'll be shorter than a midget on his knees!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Cube dweller: I can't discipline my children, they don't listen to me.
Boss: Nothing better than spanking a wet, naked ass.
Peabody, Massachusetts
Bipedal co-worker: I don't have enough legs for that!
England
Female cube dweller to coworker: Stop that, you don't know me well enough to bite my nipples!
Rockford, Illinois
Girl executive: I bank at Wells Fargo.
Guy executive: Oh, they charge a bunch of fees. You must like getting fucked in the ass.
Girl executive: Well…
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Office supplies clerk: Where is all double sided tape going?
Office peon (to other peon): One more roll for my left foot and I can scale the building like Spiderman.
Downtown Orlando, Florida
Female customer to male clerk wearing “Smith College” shirt: Did you go to Smith College?
Male clerk, in completely deadpan tone: Yes, I've got a vagina and I went to Smith College.
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Fred
Sales rep: Why didn't you say “woo-hoo”? Is it not big enough for you?
Assistant manager: Woo-hoo! There, you happy?
Sales rep: Yes.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
