Thuggette: I don't know what a penis is for. I don't even know how to put a condom on. All you need to know is to put it in, take it out, wash it off, and go to sleep. It's a mushroom. A long-ass stink mushroom. Shit.
Washington, DC
Thuggette: I don't know what a penis is for. I don't even know how to put a condom on. All you need to know is to put it in, take it out, wash it off, and go to sleep. It's a mushroom. A long-ass stink mushroom. Shit.
Washington, DC
Lead designer to counter top installer: Just go drill her holes to make her shut up!
Carlsbad, California
IT guy, running cable in new cubicles: Knee burns… I was feeling that last night.
Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Designer: Awwww, his monkey fell out…
Steveston
Canadia
Boss: So I asked my vet if I should let him eat the placenta.
Worker: What the heck did my ears ever do to you?
McKinney, Texas
Agent: Can you tell me what color the small square or circular sticker is on the back of your phone?
Customer: I had cervical surgery this week. My neck hurts.
Vermillion, South Dakota
Overheard by: Haley
Male coworker: Why are you laughing so hard?
Female coworker: I have absolutely no idea, but her head is in my crotch!
Fairfax, Virginia
Boss: And I would bet my… um… pencil, on that. Wait… what do they say?
Grad student: Ass. You'd bet your ass on that.
Boss: Oh, no. I don't want to bet that. I'll bet my favorite pencil.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Male custodian: Aw jeez, I just dropped my nuts on the floor.
Female custodian: Oh my goodness, look at the mess you've made!
Wisconsin
Overheard by: I Giggled
Intern: I’ve never had butt sex. I’m saving it for marriage. Since I’m not a virgin anymore, I have to save something for my husband.
Friend: You’re so dumb. You should have done what I did. I ONLY have butt sex, so I’m still a virgin.
Pour House Bar, Capital Hill
Washington, District of Columbia
