Cubicle rat: He's losing control of his bowels all over the place, his toe nails are long, he stinks and he's getting old. I think I need to put him down.
Cubicle neighbor: I hope you are talking about an animal.
Lansing, Michigan
Cubicle rat: He's losing control of his bowels all over the place, his toe nails are long, he stinks and he's getting old. I think I need to put him down.
Cubicle neighbor: I hope you are talking about an animal.
Lansing, Michigan
Office lady #1: I need to take my cat to the vet.
Office lady #2: Why?
Office lady #1: There's something wrong with his nipples. It's like he has boobs on his belly.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: choked on my energy drink
Coworker on phone: No, you can't let Stan do that! If he uses that bulldozer in your yard it'll look like some blind guy with his head between his ass.
Columbia, New Jersey
Annoyed female coworker: Stupid pants! Get in my crotch!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: B. Rye
Female boss to male underling, about predicted upcoming snow storm: Tell me how many inches it is and then I'll decide if I have to be afraid of it!
Felton, Delaware
Ditzy office peon looking at pregnant celebrity in magazine: It looks like she's wearing one of those sha…sha-long things, ya know, that you carry a baby in.
Girl: Don't you mean “sarong”?
Male office peon: Hahaha you said “shlong”!
Central Avenue
Wood Dale, Illinois
Receptionist to FedEx guy: You want my little box, don't you? I was wondering when you were going to come!
Kissimmee, Florida
Overheard by: Ijustworkhere
Principal, on the way to a client meeting: Time to go get a pee-pee smack.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Hidden by the Copier
Auditor: I am a man! I have chest hair!
46th St & 3rd Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Auditor #2
Office lady: This girl that was in the Paralympics has 1.5 arms and no legs below the knee. She won 5 medals in the games, and is an engineer.
Office guy: What? Like on a train?
Office lady: No… For BC Hydro, duh!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: LJ
