Disembodied voice coming from men's room: Aww, man! We do that every year! …usually with our teeth …and while he's still alive.
Austin, Texas
Disembodied voice coming from men's room: Aww, man! We do that every year! …usually with our teeth …and while he's still alive.
Austin, Texas
Tech: I came home last night and my right ass was killing me! I had to sit on my left ass!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Server-tron
Regional director to underling: I can almost see up your ass and read your mind.
Underling: I don’t know what to do with that.
Midway Road
Addison, Texas
Overheard by: covering my ass from now on
Receptionist, yelling: I want to show everyone my box!
Melbourne
Australia
Director of operations: I could get paid a lot of money to put a dildo in my ass, and then I’d be walking around with a dildo in my ass, but that would be lame too.
Elkton Road
Newark, Delaware
Very upset patient to patient coordinator: People think that because I have a severe brain injury I don't know what I am talking about.
Atlanta, Georgia
Male machinist: So do you like donkeys and stuff?
Female machinist: What…? What do you mean?
Male machinist: Ya know, like donkeys and horses…
Female machinist: Uh, why?
Male machinist: We're having a donkey and horse show this weekend. Oh! But not that kind.
Female machinist: Oh, good. You were weirding me out, man.
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Female Machinist
Coworker #1: It says here, if a man's index finger is longer than their ring finger they're a third less likely to develop pancreatic cancer.
Coworker #2: Wait, this is your ring finger, right?
(people laugh)
Coworker #1: That's your 'fuck you' finger!
Manhattan, New York
Cubicle rat: He's losing control of his bowels all over the place, his toe nails are long, he stinks and he's getting old. I think I need to put him down.
Cubicle neighbor: I hope you are talking about an animal.
Lansing, Michigan
Office lady #1: I need to take my cat to the vet.
Office lady #2: Why?
Office lady #1: There's something wrong with his nipples. It's like he has boobs on his belly.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: choked on my energy drink
