Radiologist, dictating: The patient is an 80-year-old woman with a history of constipation. The films of the patient's abdomen are non-diagnostic, because there is a child in the way. Repeat films should be obtained to determine if the child is actually in the patient's abdomen or lying on the image plate behind her.
Lakeville, Massachusetts
Lady browsing thrift store racks to friend: That's why I need to win the lottery, to get a butt makeover. I don't even need the whole body, just the butt.
Fayettteville, North Carolina
Sales rep: Have you ever seen a NASCAR driver in person?
NASCAR fan sales rep: I got close enough to Jeff Gordon to see his nose hairs.
Cubeville
Georgia
Secretary #1, after reading e-mail about new hire: Well, she sounds very well-endowed.
Secretary #2: What?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: I didn't see a picture.
Paralegal: So I ripped her arm off.
Lawyer #1: Wait. What part do I get?
Paralegal: You get her leg.
Lawyer #2: Just don't leave her booty behind.
Indiana
Overheard by: I think I'll be leaving now.
Reporter to reporter: Well, I'm not going to pull if I've got a bung eye.
New Zealand
Coworker to another: Showing the Kraken in the Clash of the Titans trailer is like asking a girl out with your dick hanging out.
Vancouver
Canadia
Student worker: Man, my mouth is really dry.
Secretary: Why?
Student worker: Because I just ate some raw nuts.
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Listening Secretary
Coworker #1 to husband who dropped off lunch: What is on your shirt?
Husband: I spilled Coke.
Coworker #1: Do you want me to suck it?
St. George, Utah
Overheard by: Charlie
Male coworker with upbeat demeanor: Well, let's just cut my head off and set it somewhere…
North Scottsdale, Arizona
