Cubicle dweller from first shift: Feel free to polish off my sausage.
Cubicle dweller from second shift: Uhh… Can you repeat that?
Shift lead: Dude, he has a plate of sausage and cheese with crackers. He's gonna leave it for your shift.
Cubicle dweller from second shift: Oh. Thanks, man.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Jerbz
Sales guy: Okay, so my brother has a blowhole. (laughter, awkward looks) No, really. It's a hole on the roof of his mouth. What do you think I'm talking about?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Coworker to another: But you know, your feet will not look the same at all if they remove that toe.
Boise, Idaho
Overheard by: K
Innocent secretary: I don't think that'll be big enough.
IT manager: I've never been told that before.
Hertfordshire
England
Overheard by: Sooz
Coworker on phone: Hello… Hello… Did you butt-dial me?
Alexandria, Virginia
Lady #1: I just had to explain to a 21-year-old what it's like to go to the gyno for the first time. I explained getting pried apart, the ovary exam and the breast exam.
Lady #2: What about the anal exam?
Ladies #1 and #3: (blank stare) What are you talking about?
Lady #2: Don't you get an anal exam at your gyno?
Ladies #1 and #3: No!
Lady #1: You were violated!
Lady #3: This is why I have a female gynecologist.
Lady #2: Well, that would explain why he complimented me on my shave, too.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Rizzy
Painter #1: I can't find that roller anywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check…
Painter #1, interrupting: I've looked everywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check your butt?
Painter #1: Did you check your mom's butt?
Painter #2: Did you check your mom's face?
Boss painter: Dammit guys, get back to work!
Atlanta, Georgia
Flustered airline rep on PA: Passenger Blackcock, please come talk to a representative at gate 44. Passenger Blackcock, to gate 44 please.
Airport
Newark, New Jersey
Student worker: I'm trying to figure out which class to take. I heard Dr Smith* is a big dick, though.
Graduate student #1: The word you're really looking for is “has.”
Graduate student #2: Well, I guess we all know who's getting that teaching assistant spot.
Charlestown, Illinois
Overheard by: Overworked English Grad
Regular office guy: Anyone want to go get coffee?
Hot office girl: No, I have a dentist appointment I have to leave for in a few minutes.
Regular office guy: Well, that sucks.
Hot office girl: No, my mouth sucks! (pause) Wait…
Bellevue, Washington
