Man, discussing his morning routine with dogs: I'm up early. I walk them, brush them out, wash their balls, and oh boy, that gets them excited, and then we get in some good play time!
Cubicle mate: Ummm, balls?
Man: Balls, the bouncy kind…they're female.
Cubicle mate: That's disappointing.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Chai Tea
Employee: Rat balls are nasty!
Raytheon
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: taaj
Girl behind counter: So we open the oyster up, and inside we will find a pearl.
Middle aged American tourist: Wow, that is amazing! Does this hurt them?
Girl: Yes, this kills them.
Tourist: What! Can't you restart their brains or something?
Japanese Department Store, EPCOT Centre
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: mark shale
Laughing woman with young child: And then I just had to follow the cow around with a bag, waiting for it to poop!
Oakland Zoo
Oakland, California
Overheard by: lith
Registrant for conference to receptionist: This says we should list food allergies. I listed horses.
Severna Park, Maryland
Secretary: This looks like a tiny dead bird.
Director: But it's not one, that's the important part.
University of Maine
Orono, Maine
Workbee on cell: Woah, she clogged that toilet? That’s a new toilet! What’d she do, take a gorilla shit or something?!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Eileen
Peon #1: I bought my son a small hamster when he was about seven or eight. We didn't know it at the time, but the hamster was pregnant with a litter of nine. After she had given birth to her pups, we noticed that she started biting their little heads off. My son was very upset because of this, and so was I. I looked it up online and I ended up reading somewhere that hamster moms don't behead their young after their eyes have opened, and we had one hamster left, and its eyes had opened. We figured everything would be fine, but when I came home from work the next day we saw that she killed that one as well. My son was bawling his eyes out that evening.
Peon #2: That's terrible. What ended up happening?
Peon #1: I put her in a coffee canister and took her out to the woods… and I threw her in a snake pit. I'm not sure if she made it out.
Hampton, Virginia
Architect: Did you see the dog?
Intern: Yeah, he slobbered on my pant leg.
Architect: I sent you because I didn’t want to get bit.
Square Lake Road
Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: Eero Plain
