Insurance salesman: Now, you can only die once, but you can become disabled many times.
Florida
Insurance salesman: Now, you can only die once, but you can become disabled many times.
Florida
Coworker to another about manager: So he said, ‘If someone comes into your office crying, just ignore it. It used to freak me out, but now I realize it happens all the time.’
46th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Manager: We should do it. I’m just concerned that the cost will be too exuberant for us to overcome.
180 Varick Street
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Thank you so much [Dan] for getting me all of the ledes that I needed for the articles so last minute.
Co-worker #2: Oh, it’s no problem. It was easy, I can show you how to do it.
Co-worker #1: No, I’d rather you do it, thanks.
Co-worker #2: I can easily show you.
Co-worker #1: If there was a fire and you were burning, I’d assume you’d have a cell phone, so I could still call you and you’d still do it for me.
2105 C Street
Vancouver, Washington
Woman to employee walking by: Almost all these cartons have cracked eggs.
(employee keeps walking)
Woman, muttering: I just thought you might want to know about all these cracked eggs so you could remove them.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: She Didn't Care When I Told Her Either
Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings… We need to be like male elephants!
Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks?
Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears?
Professor: No! We need to pee all over everything!
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
IT manager, sighing loudly: I was just in accounting. Don't go over there.
Secretary: Why not?
IT manager: Because it's accounting!
Secretary: (confused silence)
IT manager, sighing: Well, for starters, Bob is wearing a Tigger shirt.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Not THAT Casual Friday
VP Research: The client would like us to find a creative way to solve the problem.
Field Manager: I am tired of looking for the solution to this problem; let’s start looking for someone to blame instead…
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Japanese professor: The peroxides are very volatile. If you drop them, we have to be out of the building before they hit the floor.
Grad student: I won’t drop them.
Japanese professor: And only Japanese ninja can move that fast.
Grad student: OK.
Japanese professor: I am well trained in the art of the ninja.
10900 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Action officer: Nothing like making fun of the blind to get your morning started.
The Pentagon
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Propagandist
