Co-worker, complaining about his chapped lips: These chapped lips really suck big dick.
The Arboretum
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: El Gato
Co-worker, complaining about his chapped lips: These chapped lips really suck big dick.
The Arboretum
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: El Gato
Coworker #1: This is Matcha.
Coworker #2: What's Matcha?
Coworker #1: It's tea.
Coworker #2: I feel like a tea bag…
Los Alamitos, California
Overheard by: Lisa
Partner, on phone: Vengeance is mine, sayeth the lawyer. He will pay.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Account Manager: Hey, do you feel like a monkey in the middle of an idiot sandwich?
Process Analyst: That would make you one of the idiots. Are you calling yourself an idiot?
Account Manager: Oh…huh?
5 minutes later.
Process Analyst: Hey, do you feel like an idiot in a monkey sandwich?
Account Manager: Ha! Now you are the idiot!
Process Analyst: No…that still makes you the idiot.
520 Guthridge Court
Norcross, Georgia
Co-worker #1: Hey, I just made up a new job title for myself.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, what is it?
Co-worker #1: I’d like to be called the System Operations Liaison. Or S.O.L. for short.
Co-worker #2: Ha, ha!
Co-worker #1: Man, I crack myself up.
2414 1st Avenue South
Seattle, Washington
Director: We might have to pay for some T&A to get someone to go visit the client.
5720 Peachtree Parkway
Norcross, Georgia
Coworker on phone to business contact: So, are you talking about fecal year 2008 or 2009?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: analyst
Asian coworker: What are you doing?
Caucasian coworker: Assembling the trade booth so we all know how to do it.
Asian coworker: Trade booth?
Caucasian coworker: For conventions, we set this up so people know who we are.
Asian coworker: What are you trading? Can I trade?
Caucasian coworker: Nevermind! Go back to your desk!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Copywriter: So David*, did you thank your wife for the candy she gave you yesterday?
David: In more ways than one.
Proofreader: A simple “yes” would have been sufficient.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Why am I the one blushing?
HR assistant: So, Paul*, when are you gonna take a look at my thing? I’m bursting at the seams, right?
Paul the safety director: [laughing] I can’t look now — and will never look at your thing.
HR assistant: But, dang it! I need some space! Look at how my file cabinets are overflowing!!
Paul: HR isn’t the only department that needs filing space!
HR assistant: [sighs] I just need someone to look and to care!
4730 South Fort Apache
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Corporate Paralegal
