Office lady: Does anyone have any gum? I really need something in my mouth right now.
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: JWall
Office lady: Does anyone have any gum? I really need something in my mouth right now.
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: JWall
High school senior #1: I am thinking about taking pre-med, I just hope it's not hard. I kind of like science.
High school senior #2: Why not study business?
High school senior #1: Because in my thoughts business always fails, but science is always, like… good.
Fresno, California
50-something man: Well, I have to tell you: for a woman in her 50s, you still look great.
50-something woman, flattered: Yeah?
50-something man: Oh, yeah. If we weren't both married, and you didn't work for me, I'd definitely try to nail ya.
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl to coworker at desk next to her: I kinda want to interoffice you something to see how long it takes.
Coworker: You totally should!
Girl: Yeah. Then we'd be like pen pals!
Office Building
Manhattan, New York
IT guy #1: Hey, you want to hear something ironic?
IT guy #2: Yes! Tell me something erotic!
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Contractor: I mean, I don't want to just jerk her off…
Cary, North Carolina
Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Person #1: My vagina is as fucked as the Gaza strip.
Person #2: Can I suggest a nice Jewish gyno?
Person #1: I don't want her to colonize my vag. Monistat will work just fine.
Person #2: You could just shove some Challah bread up there and have the yeast go to town on your sorry ghettoized crotch.
Boston, Massachusetts
Colleague, chatting up receptionist on Monday morning: Me and the water polo boys can be a pretty rough crowd when we want to be.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Nathan
Office chick #1: I want a small desk lamp for ambient lighting. A candle would rock… but I know most companies frown upon flammable things.
Office chick #2: Well, we have a flammable toaster oven, so I don’t see how a small candle would be any different.
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
