Every Office Has One Person Who's Confused by Metaphors

Lab tech #1, about piece of lab equipment: You have to make love to it.
Lab tech #2: Oh! That's way too big!
Lab tech #1: You just have to finesse it.
Lab tech #2: No, seriously, that's really big.

Eugene, Oregon

Posted on August 22, 2020
Oregon, Sexuality, Tech People, Weirdness

But If You Mean Hugh Hefner, I Agree.

Cubicle rat: He's losing control of his bowels all over the place, his toe nails are long, he stinks and he's getting old. I think I need to put him down.
Cubicle neighbor: I hope you are talking about an animal.

Lansing, Michigan

Posted on August 17, 2020
Animals, Body Parts, Coworkers, Cubicles, Death, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Physical Appearance, Weirdness, Wishes

Who Buys a Solar-Powered Suit?

Coworker to another: He was glowing like a pregnant woman!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: netdpb

Posted on August 15, 2020
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, New York, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

The Baby Boom Seems to Be Ending With a Whimper

Sales manager: Oh, no… I’m not laughing at orphans, I’m laughing at old demented people.

Eagle Street, Brisbane
Australia

Overheard by: Clerk Peon

Posted on August 6, 2020
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Sales, Weirdness

…Except the Dentistry.

Gate attendant on intercom: We'll be serving dinner on board. You don't have to pay, you just have to eat it. A lovely breakfast will be served in the morning, and then the landing will be lovely because everything in England is lovely.

JFK Airport
New York

Overheard by: ollie

Posted on August 1, 2020
Employees, Meals and Snacks, Money, New York, Weirdness

Self-Test: Are You More Pathetic at Work or at Home?

Coworker #1: And I still had this stomach bug, but I'd just drank all this fruit punch, and my mom was calling me, and I made into the hallway before I puked fruit punch all over the wall, and I was like “I'm coming, mom!”
Coworker #2: Oh, god, how old were you?
Coworker #1: This was like six months ago.

Columbia, Missouri

Posted on July 24, 2020
Age and ageing, Coworkers, Family, Health & Hygiene, Missouri, Questions, Weirdness

The Cracks Spread With Alarming Rapidity

CSR: Nancy had, like, a nervous breakdown after a phone call that lasted an hour and a half. I felt bad for her, but it was also kinda cool. It was like watching glass shatter.

Newton, Massachusetts