Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?
Seattle, Washington
Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?
Seattle, Washington
Fat coworker: Dude, all these re-orgs and manager changes really suck.
Skinny coworker: You know what else sucks? Polio.
Ontario Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: The loud one
Tech worker: Are you seriously saying that eight inches is not a big dump?
Willow
Lansing, Michigan
20-something female cube rat: Sounds like a fucking stupid project, and I am really excited to do it some time.
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Red-faced, furious manager, gesticulating at mildly messy sales rack: This is a disaster! Everyone put everything everywhere!
Plymouth, Michigan
(Woman puts groceries on checkstand, including home pregnancy test.)
Male clerk: Man, I have been selling a lot of these lately!
(Woman laughs nervously.)
Male clerk to female clerk, waving test in the air: Haven’t you been selling a lot of these?
Female clerk: Yeah, I have! It must be spring, you know how people get!
(Woman is now horrified.)
Male clerk, handing woman her groceries: Well, good luck either way!
Safeway
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Really? Really?
(in a crowded elevator there is a brief, unidentifiable noise)
Co-worker #1 (in Japanese): Keiko*, did you just fart?
Co-worker #2 (in Japanese): Well, my asshole *is* kind of loose lately.
(all Japanese in elevator burst out laughing)
Co-worker #2: What?
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Minivet
Customer service rep: Aaaaahhhhhhh!
Planner: What’s wrong??
Customer service rep: I just saw a mouse!
Planner: Um, yeah, so? That’s just George.
Customer service rep: What?
Planner: Sometimes George likes to come out and play.
Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Stuck in my cube
Accounting drone: Is someone eating fucking jockstraps and dirty socks now? There really needs to be some kind of restrictions on the food people are allowed to eat in here. How about a guideline like: “If it smells like a dead hooker, treat it like a dead hooker and eat it in your car.”? Thank god we don’t have any Indian programmers.
Milwaukee Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Intern: It was an honor to wear your sister’s undergarments.
Las Vegas, Nevada
