Employees–Ticking Time Bombs, All of Them

(employee #1 coughs)
Employee #2: Beth*, are you okay?
(employee #1 coughs)
Employee #3: Ma, are you okay?
Employee #1: I’m fine.
Employee #3: Ma, what are you choking on?
Employee #1: My own spit.

Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: file queen

Posted on July 22, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Florida, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Weirdness

How You Been, Montezuma?

Suit on cell in bathroom stall: I’m in the crapper, takin’ a dump and I was thinking about you, so I thought I’d call.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Posted on July 21, 2008
Default, Feelings, New Jersey, Relationships, Restroom, Suits, Weirdness

It Was Cheaper Than Buying a Playpen

Coworker and mother of a two and a five-year-old : Oh wait! I gotta go. I have to pick my kids up from the jail!

N Willamette Street
Coburg, Oregon

Overheard by: Glad her husband is a sheriff

Posted on July 16, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Family, Family members, Oregon, Time Management, Weirdness

I Wasn’t Aware They Needed Food

Mother shouting on cell: How the fuck do I know what he eats? I’m his mother, not his nanny.

New York City Library, New York

Overheard by: Took care of my own children

Posted on July 16, 2008
Default, Education, Family, Family members, Meals and Snacks, New York, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

Hope You Close the Deal, Ma’am

Sales exec, hurrying to the bathroom: Wish me luck with this one, I’m gonna need it!

Queensbury, New York

Posted on July 14, 2008
Default, Executives, Feelings, New York, Offers and requests, Restroom, Sales, Weirdness, Wishes

Gotta Be One Somewhere in Ann Coulter’s House

Videographer, immediately before promotional shoot: Where would you find the skin of a werewolf?

Maryville Center
St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on July 14, 2008
Animals, Default, Designers and Photographers, Missouri, Offers and requests, Questions, Weirdness

I Knew We Shouldn’t Have Used That Stigmata Font

Copywriter: Man! Where am I bleeding from now?!

Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on July 10, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Health & Hygiene, Ohio, Questions, Weirdness, Writers and Editors

It’s Not My Type

Cubicle prisoner to herself: I haven’t shoved the keyboard down my throat yet.

Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: Everyday Monday

Posted on July 9, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, Feelings, North Carolina, Weirdness

She’ll Bill Him Later

Perverted girl looking at a picture of two ducks mating: I swear, if you saw them going at it, you would have been jealous. He was really giving it to her!

Commercial Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Animal lover has a whole new meaning

Posted on July 9, 2008
Animals, Default, Florida, Retail, Sexuality, Weirdness

Fetus: What Are You Lookin’ At?

Receptionist: Oh, I forgot today was Friday the 13th. I do pay attention to that, because I was in a bad car accident in high school on a Friday the 13th.
HR assistant: So no going out and drinking tonight, then?
Receptionist (bemusedly): Well…
HR assistant: You’ll just stay home and drink, right?
Receptionist: (laughs) Yeah, that’s when you know you’re an alcoholic, when you stay home and drink.
HR assistant: And you’re pregnant.
Receptionist: Right. Don’t want people being judgmental at the bar.

Airport Way
Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 9, 2008
Default, Employees, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Receptionists, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington, Weirdness

Weirdness