Overly exuberant raffle organizer: I'll drag someone in, blindfold them, and say “stick your hand in this!”
New England
Overheard by: Dude
Overly exuberant raffle organizer: I'll drag someone in, blindfold them, and say “stick your hand in this!”
New England
Overheard by: Dude
Salesperson #1: Violence is okay…just as long as no one is enjoying it.
Salesperson #2: What about spanking?
850 Third Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Effina
Overworked peon: I told Julia to take a box cutter to your jugular if she saw you come in.
Boss: That's not nice!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Soapnana
Woman (after manager jokingly pats her on the back): Hey, don’t be coming in here hitting me!
Manager: No, no, I wouldn’t do that. I haven’t hit a woman in a long time. You know when the last time I hit a woman was? It was my ex-wife, and it was goooooood. I spent two days in jail, but it was worth it. It was soooo worth it. They had to wire her jaw shut. Six weeks. Six weeks of silence.
Woman: That’s nice, but could you leave now, please?”
Wilmington, North Carolina
Broker #1: Why is she laughing?
Broker #2: She already told you — she thinks it’s funny to buy gag candy and make everyone in the office fart.
Broker #1 laughs.
Broker #2: I mean, she’s so young. We all want to kill the other people in the office and she just wants to make them fart.
Broker #1: Look at her, she’s still laughing.
Broker #2: Ah, youth. All they do is giggle.
399 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: LH
Male interviewer: So where are you from?
Female applicant: I’m from here, but all my family is from Vietnam.
Male interviewer: Yeah? My ex-wife is from Vietnam. Ever since that war over there, I haven’t really been a fan of wars, ya know?
Doc Green’s, Cumberland Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia
(two bosses are arguing)
Coworker #1: They are going to kill each other.
Coworker #2: Good, then we don't have to be bothered with them anymore.
School of Dentistry
University of Michigan
Overheard by: I love my job, I love my job, I love my job
Worker: When he used to work here, I literally left work one day and spent ten minutes trying to figure out where I could park my car so I could shoot him when he left and not get caught.
Main Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: frightened newbie
Secretary on phone to other secretary: Yeah, I know, like he wants us to go out and pull people off the street to get them in here… What the fuck? (pause) Oh, the hooker who works at the corner by the station is still alive, I saw her the other day, some dude dropped her off out front, she got out wiping her mouth, ewwww, it was totally nasty! But she's still alive!
Lincoln Park, Michigan
Project Manager: He needs to step into my office. The office of my fist. If he messes with my developer one more time, I’m gonna drop him like a bad habit. And by “drop” I mean “drop kick”. And by “bad habit” I mean “communist hobo”.
1375 Peachtree Street NE
Atlanta, Georgia
