How Some Frat Houses Avoid the Long Arm Of the Law

Security guard to another: Who cares if a girl gets raped there…they have an aquarium!

Columbus, Ohio

Posted on April 25, 2015
Cops, Crimes, Ohio, Sexuality, Violence, Weirdness

With the Possible Exception Of “Does This Smell Like Chloroform to You?”

CSR #1: I like that we are looking up how to make chloroform while talking about pick-up lines in bars…
CSR #2: Well, we already decided that pick-up lines don't work.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Chemist

Posted on April 19, 2015
Customer Service, Massachusetts, Sexuality, Violence, Weirdness

That’s Why I’m Well-Behaved. And Deaf.

Loud old woman #1: Did you hear about that huge fight that took place over the weekend where that teenager got killed?
Loud old woman #2: That’s why people should beat their children! Then this wouldn’t happen!

3430 Courthouse Drive
Ellicott City, Maryland

Posted on April 16, 2015
Advice, Coworkers, Death, General Idiocy, Maryland, Violence

Then I Realized It Was Ethan Hawke

Young female associate: So the homeless guy kept coming at me and I got scared, so I kicked him in the balls.

Law Firm
Wilmington, Delaware

Posted on April 16, 2015
Body Parts, Delaware, Executives, Feelings, Violence

Rod Blagojevich.

Coworker: I mean, don't you ever feel like killing someone and wearing their head like a hat?

Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on April 15, 2015
Body Parts, Clothes, Coworkers, Crimes, Death, Nevada, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

It Takes a Lot to Ruffle a New Yorker's Feathers

Skinny middle-aged man to large middle-aged receptionist: May I borrow your phone?
Receptionist: Sure, sugar.
Skinny middle-aged man, after calmly speaking with another doctor: And when I get there, I'm going to crap on your desk! (to receptionist) Thank you for letting me borrow your phone.
Receptionist: You're welcome, sugar.

Gastroenterology Office
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: the intern

Posted on April 15, 2015
Doctors, Medical, New York, Offers and requests, On the phone, Receptionists, Threats, Violence

You Know Some Men Would Pay You for That?

Laura: I guess a part of me could maybe like a baby.
Steph: Not a big part!
Laura: Well, no shit!
Steph: I guess it could be kinda fun…to have someone to take shopping and spank and stuff.
Laura: What a good reason to have a baby–to have someone to spank. Thinking about this gives me anxiety.
Steph: I know, I can't breathe.

Tallahassee, Florida

Posted on April 10, 2015
Family, Feelings, Florida, Friends, Violence

More Than an Ocean Separates Us from the Brits

IT salesperson #1: So basically, this opportunity is like looking at a really big cow in a small field!
IT salesperson #2: But the question is: do we cherrypick, do we take small bites at the cow…
IT salesperson #3: Or does the really big bull just take a running jump at it?

Newgate Street
London
England

Posted on April 7, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, England, Questions, Sales, Sexuality, Violence

Tough Pregnancy, Al?

Guy #1: All that movie is about is white people punching their wives in the face.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: I think it would be more fun to punch your wife in the stomach then in the face.

Woodlands, Texas

Posted on April 3, 2015
Body Parts, Cinema, Employees, Family, Texas, Violence

Career Tip: Don't Call in Sick in the Middle Of a Crisis, Dear Reader

Exasperated boss on phone: Well that's great, Jake. Maybe I should go downstairs and slam my head in the car door a few times.

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Lady Lawyer

Posted on March 30, 2015
Anger management, Bosses, New York, On the phone, Violence

Violence