Time Management

Male coworker being rushed: Just give me a sec.
Female coworker rushing him: I'll give you lots of secs.

Winnipeg
Canadia

Admin to staff in morning staff meeting: Maybe I should just send the entire calendar so you all know the due dates for the entire year and can plan ahead.
Boss: Huh! An informed staff. That's an idea…

Indianapolis, Indiana

Female coworker: Does your water bottle say “beaver sports”?
Male coworker: Yes. Beaver sports has been in my life as long as I can remember.

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Sales VP to shipping clerk: This is a very important sales proposal for UPS to consider. I want it in their hands first thing tomorrow morning, so be sure to FedEx it right away.
Shipping clerk: Okaaaaay…

Baltimore, Maryland

Coworker: With the amount of hours I spent playing WoW, I probably could have graduated college. Oh, well.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Coworker #1: Are you posting time in the system?
Coworker #2: No.
Coworker #1: Well, I can't enter my time, it won't let me put any numbers in.
(coworker #2 walks over, looks at situation, presses num lock, walks away)

North Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Renee

Suit at after work cocktail function, checking watch,sighing, muttering to himself: I would rather be in Iraq.

Walnut Creek, California

Overheard by: bereccathewaitress

Office worker #1: Guess what I have?
Office worker #2: Herpes?
Office worker #1: No, actually I have a Snapple lid with random fact #1, can you believe it? The first snapple fact! “Goldfish only have an attention span of 3 minutes.”
(silence)
Office worker #3, a row away: If you had herpes, that would have been more interesing.
Office worker #1: Go to hell.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/08/goldfish.html

Overheard by: e c.

Employee #1: It's 5 O'clock somewhere!
Employee #2: It's 5 O'clock at my desk. What do you think this water in my bottle here is?

Glendale, California

Office manager during staff meeting: Children should wash their hands for as long as it takes them to sing the ABCs. For adults, it's Bohemian Rhapsody.

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Lady L