Female HR manager: He came way too early this morning. He was coming fast. And then he didn't have time to do what he was supposed to do for me.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Female HR manager: He came way too early this morning. He was coming fast. And then he didn't have time to do what he was supposed to do for me.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Partner: Hello there. Haven't seen you for a while.
Female lawyer: Yeah, you haven't come across me in ages! How did you get away with that?
Partner: It's been on my to-do list.
Sydney
Australia
Office girl: I love Wednesday.
Office guy: It's hump day.
Office girl: I'm single now, I don't get those anymore.
Sydney
Australia
Postal worker: Alright, “express” means this package is guaranteed to arrive by 3 pm tomorrow.
Customer: Is that free?
Postal worker: Ain't nothing free, ma'am. Ain't nothing free. $18.74, ma'am. Dig deep, now. Dig deep.
Post Office
Beaufort, South Carolina
Overheard by: Connie
Weightlifting coworker, during lunch: On a two breast day it's not enough, but on a six breast day…
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Kirstoona
Clerk #1 to clerk #2: He really did believe that when Noah built the ark, that dinosaurs didn't get saved because they were late.
Divorce Court
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Harry
Coworker #1: It won't mount. It's been three minutes.
Coworker #2: Three minutes… that ain't right. Want me to see if I can mount it faster?
Coworker #1: Yeah, have a go.
Coworker #2: I'm straight in.
Beverly, Massachusetts
Woman associate returning with lunch from cafe: I'm back.
Male associate: Smells great. What's today?
Woman associate: Thursday.
Male associate: Thank you. What is the special today?
Bellevue, Washington
Employee #1: I heard that each time you travel overseas, you lose seven years of your life.
Employee #2: What about pilots?
Manhattan, New York
Data entry specialist #1: Why does Miley Cyrus repeat that lyric in her song? And a Jay-C song was on! And a Jay-C song was on!
Data entry specialist #2: “Jay-c”? Do you mean “Jay-Z”?
Data entry specialist #3: I think she needed to add thirty seconds to the song, so she just sang the same lyric over and over.
Data entry specialist #1: That's not a party in the USA! That's just bad song-writing.
Data entry specialist #2: It's brainwashing.
Receptionist: Wait, you all don't like Miley Cyrus?
St. Louis, Missouri
