Time Management

Joseph K Had a Difficult First Day at Castle College

Student: Hi! I need to get a list of course requirements so I can fill out this form, please.
Receptionist: Okay, we’ll just need a copy of the form first.
Student: But I need the requirements to fill out the form…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, we don’t work in hypotheticals.
Student: Um… okay… What was it in the past?
Receptionist: We don’t file them that way. We’ll need a copy of the form.
Student: So you need this form filled out so you can give me the list that I need to fill out the form?
Receptionist: Yes!

Dunster Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts

10AM Project Due

Underling: So when did you want this by, yesterday or an hour ago?

219 N. Milwaukee Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Well, I Certainly Hope That Person Was Fired

Copy writer #1: What is a leap year?
Copy writer #2 (disdainfully): It has to do with making up time that people screwed up back in the day.

Main Street, Buffalo

Other Than a List of Unmarried Employees in Bullet-Point Format?

Peon: Will there be an agenda at the holiday party?

42 Broadway
New York, New York

Meet Maryland's Best Boss

Employee: I have to come in on Monday for a training. It's my normal day off, so I might take off Tuesday or Friday instead.
Supervisor: We have the supervisor's retreat on Tuesday, so none of us will be here that day. I'd work then.

Hagerstown, Maryland

3PM Birthday Cake!

Boss: And happy birthday to [Chris]. Today is his birthday
[Chris]: My birthday isn’t today, it’s in May.
Boss: This [planner] thing is useless.
Employee #2: It’s only as good as what you put into it.

111 South Michigan Avenue
Saginaw, Michigan

And Stick It up His Nose

Lady: What’s his new obsession with cocaine? Is that, like, his new drug of choice or something? ‘Cause I’m telling you, I’m about ready to have this baby just to spite him.

1548 Lee Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Fin

And Why Are All My Problems Self-Inflicted?

Boss: Who wants to do these reports?
Enthusiastic lady: I’ll take them! Will be done in no time.
Boss, 15 minutes later: Are those reports ready, Angie*?
Enthusiastic lady: I’m still on it.
Boss, 15 minutes later: I need those reports now.
Enthusiastic lady: I am working on them as fast as I can. [Boss leaves, then] Why does he give me so much work and keep asking me if it’s done?!

4340 Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC

Overheard by: did not ask for work

Time Is Cheap in Indiana

Man at photo kiosk: I just finished sending my selections and edits through, and then it froze.
Worker: Hmm. Locked up. Happens a lot. All the info is gone, unfortunately.
Man: I spent 45 minutes here, doing this.
Worker: I’m sorry. Here’s a $3-off coupon for next time.
Man: Three bucks for 45 minutes?

Worker’s cell phone rings. He walks away.

Avon Target
Avon, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Eh, Once It Turns Around, We'll Be Suicidal Again

Drone #1: This sucks. I think I've run out of things to do for today.
Drone #2: I did that a couple of hours ago.
Drone #1: No wonder the economy contracted.

Chicago, Illinois

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