Time Management

Employee #1: What time zone is Maine in?
Employee #2: It’s in our time zone.
Employee #1: OK, so what time is it there right now?

645 Papermill Road
Newark, New Jersey

Coworker #1: What's the abbreviation for “Mountain Time”?
Coworker #2: MST.
Coworker #1: Then what does “GMT” mean?
Coworker #2: General Mountain Time?
Coworker #1: Oh, okay!

Westwood, Massachusetts

Doctor: Who is that?
Assistant: It’s Dr. Smith, he wants to know if you are going to the meeting.
Doctor: What, I can’t go to the bathroom first? Tell ’em I’m peeing.

York Ave
New York, New York

Overheard by: the other assistant

Co-worker #1: Can you make those changes I requested?
Co-worker #2: Did you ever email me the information?
Co-worker #1: No. I’ll have it to you in 10 minutes.
Co-worker #2: Sorry, party starts in 4 minutes.

1932 Highland Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio

Manager #1: [Eric]? I hate [Eric].
Manager #2: You hate [Eric]? But he’s such a nice guy.
Manager #1: Yeah, but he always takes too long to tell you a fucking lie.

50 W. San Fernando Street
San Jose, California

Systems Engineer: How long will it take for you to implement [the customer]’s changes?
Engineer: About two-three weeks. So four weeks.
Systems Engineer: Good. And how long will it take you to make your changes?
Intern: Well, I already did it, and it took an hour.
Systems Engineer: Okay, I’ll tell them five weeks total.

1440 N. Fiesta Boulevard
Gilbert, Arizona

Boss man: We need a lawyer to handle this. If it were 5 years ago, I’d call my brother. He was the one of the best lawyers in the country, but he can’t help me anymore because he’s been disbarred.

Midtown
New York, New York

Intern #1: How did the interview go?
Intern #2: You know how punctuality is a good thing?
Intern #1: Oh my gosh, were you late?
Intern #2: No, I was two weeks early.

1150 17th Street NW
Washington, DC

Working mom to teenage daughter: I am not going to the store this minute to buy you a lava lamp. I’m at work!

Ohio

Overheard by: Jewels

Co-worker #1: Are the movers coming?
Co-worker #2: You might want to shut down your computer and gather you things so they can bring in your desk.
Co-worker #1: What time will they be here?
Co-worker #2: Noon. So you’ve got some time.
Co-worker #1: It’s 12:45!
Co-worker #2: Oh my gosh! I’ve got to start wearing a watch.
Co-worker #1: Why don’t you?
Co-worker #2: They give me rashes.

5203 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, Virginia