Doctor: I'm thinking about going up to Austin this weekend.
Nurse #1: What's in Houston?
Doctor: Austin.
Nurse #2: What about Houston?
Doctor: Austin!
Smart-ass tech: Boston?
Lackland Air Force Base, Texas
Overheard by: Geographically Declined
Doctor: I'm thinking about going up to Austin this weekend.
Nurse #1: What's in Houston?
Doctor: Austin.
Nurse #2: What about Houston?
Doctor: Austin!
Smart-ass tech: Boston?
Lackland Air Force Base, Texas
Overheard by: Geographically Declined
Lady #1: I just had to explain to a 21-year-old what it's like to go to the gyno for the first time. I explained getting pried apart, the ovary exam and the breast exam.
Lady #2: What about the anal exam?
Ladies #1 and #3: (blank stare) What are you talking about?
Lady #2: Don't you get an anal exam at your gyno?
Ladies #1 and #3: No!
Lady #1: You were violated!
Lady #3: This is why I have a female gynecologist.
Lady #2: Well, that would explain why he complimented me on my shave, too.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Rizzy
Admin #1: You aren't allowed to throw cigarette butts out the window?
Admin #2: You aren't allowed to throw anything out the window.
Admin #1: What about a child?
(pause)
Admin #1: I can't believe I just said that.
Admin #2: It's all good. Maybe cut down on the crack intake.
McKinney, Texas
Coworker to admin: Might sound weird, and I never thought I'd have to say this, but you look pretty good as a zombie.
McKinney, Texas
Boss to beleaguered IT guy: I have no more bandwidth! My hard drive is completely full. I need you to call Steve Jobs and tell him to stop the internet, because this company is getting off right now!
Austin, Texas
Coworker to another: Shut up, at least my husband lies to me!
Waco, Texas
Overheard by: Chris
Director on phone with client: You need to complete a survey to assess your facility's readiness for the next stage of this project. Just don't think your answers will have any impact on the final decision.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Xen
Illustrator #1: What is the difference between a libertarian and a Republican?
Illustrator #2: Do you know what a Vulcan is?
Illustrator #1: Uh… I guess, like Mr Spock.
Illustrator #2: Well, a Republican is to a libertarian what a Vulcan is to a Romulan.
Illustrator #1: What the hell is a Romulan?
Illustrator #2: Well, they look like Vulcans, but they are more… Well, on the original show they represented the USSR.
Illustrator #1: So, a libertarian is a communist?
Illustrator #2: Well, no. Okay, do you know what a Centauran is?
Illustrator #1: No, and please don't tell me.
Greenville, Texas
Overheard by: Michael Philippus
50-year-old receptionist, about interviewee: I didn't like her. The interviewers aren't going to like her. She's not going to get the job. I can just tell these things.
Recruiter: What did she do that you didn't like about her?
50-year-old receptionist: Her shoes were too big for her. Probably a half size, maybe even a whole size too big! Ugh! (rolls eyes)
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: yikes
