Cubicle mole to another: Yeah, every time I see that guy I think “next time I see him he's gonna have a Chinese wife.” Hey, do you remember Suzie? I wonder if she still has herself a Chinese baby…
Greenville, Texas
Overheard by: Mike
Director on phone with client: You need to complete a survey to assess your facility's readiness for the next stage of this project. Just don't think your answers will have any impact on the final decision.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Xen
Illustrator #1: What is the difference between a libertarian and a Republican?
Illustrator #2: Do you know what a Vulcan is?
Illustrator #1: Uh… I guess, like Mr Spock.
Illustrator #2: Well, a Republican is to a libertarian what a Vulcan is to a Romulan.
Illustrator #1: What the hell is a Romulan?
Illustrator #2: Well, they look like Vulcans, but they are more… Well, on the original show they represented the USSR.
Illustrator #1: So, a libertarian is a communist?
Illustrator #2: Well, no. Okay, do you know what a Centauran is?
Illustrator #1: No, and please don't tell me.
Greenville, Texas
Overheard by: Michael Philippus
50-year-old receptionist, about interviewee: I didn't like her. The interviewers aren't going to like her. She's not going to get the job. I can just tell these things.
Recruiter: What did she do that you didn't like about her?
50-year-old receptionist: Her shoes were too big for her. Probably a half size, maybe even a whole size too big! Ugh! (rolls eyes)
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: yikes
Man leaving pay station to woman next in line: Have a nice day!
Woman next in line: Well, I have cancer, so I don't know how nice it will be.
Man leaving pay station: Well, you don't want any more of that!
Houston, Texas
Normally quiet female VP: Are you kidding me? The cops here are all violent wanna-be cowboys, overcompensating for the butt-plugs and kiddie porn in their sock drawers!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: very quietly agrees
Consultant on speaker phone: How about now? Is that better?
Meeting attendees: Yeah, much better, what did you do?
Consultant on speaker phone: I got out of bed and took you off speaker phone.
Minneapolis, Texas
Slutty girl: Ugh, I feel all queasy today. Like even the smell of water makes me want to puke.
Girl #1: Last time I felt like that I was pregnant.
Slutty girl: Don't say that!
Girl #2: When was the last time you got some?
Slutty girl: Like two weeks ago. Oh, but never mind, Dave's* dick was so small there's no way I'm pregnant.
Texas
Woman in hardware store, holding tube of black caulk: Does this caulk come in a smaller size?
Helpful hardware dude: No ma'm, black caulk only comes in large sizes.
Hardware Store
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: of course it does…..
Male voice over cubicle: Hey, has Smith gone over to the other side?
Female voice: I don't know, I'll watch his thing and let you know.
Greenville, Texas
