Coworker: Does any other Daves work here?
Dave: No. Except for Dave.
Book store
Southlake, Texas
Overheard by: We also have three Ashleys, three Michaels and two Clints!
Coworker: Does any other Daves work here?
Dave: No. Except for Dave.
Book store
Southlake, Texas
Overheard by: We also have three Ashleys, three Michaels and two Clints!
Serious suit on cell: If he does that then he’s going to have to give up the hookers and drugs, and I am not kidding.
San Jacinto Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Going Into Politics?
Female engineer: I need to hear some boy bands.
Male coworker: Like ‘N Sync, 98 Degrees, Backdoor Boys.
Female engineer: I love back-door boys.
Airport Rd
Mansfield Texas
Elevator girl: I rode in the weenie mobile last night!
Elevator guy: Is that a euphemism?
Elevator girl: No! He really came! Oh…
Louisiana Street
Houston, Texas
Worker bee #1: So, how did your party go this weekend?
Worker bee #2: It went good other than my husband didn’t help very much. When I was getting everything ready, guess what he was doing?
Worker bee #1: What?
Worker bee #2: I started looking for him everywhere. Then I decided to look outside, and I caught him in the backyard jacking off.
Burnett Plaza
Ft. Worth, Texas
Manager: What’s this? Everyone acts stupid all of a sudden.
2300 Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Lauren
Worker #1: How much fiber do you think is in a bat?
Worker #2: Not a lot.
Worker #1, surprised: Really?
Worker #2: Well… It’s not like a bat is a vegetable.
Hospital
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Xen
Office peon: That John Wilkes Booth — they just didn’t shoot Lincoln soon enough.
Arlington, Texas
Customer: I want to return this breast pump. It doesn’t work.
Manager: What’s wrong with it?
Customer: It doesn’t suck!
Store
Fort Worth, Texas
Big mama running after child: Get over here!
Child: Nuh-uh [runs away].
Big mama, clenching teeth: I said get over here!
Child, terrified: No!
Big mama: Do you want to see the magical lions and rabbits outside?
Child: Oh! Yes!
Katy Mills Shopping Center
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Omid
