Employee: Can I help you find something?
Female customer: No…Actually, yes. I can’t find any CDs by Devo.
Employee: Hm. What genre?
Girl: I would say rock, but…
Employee: D-I-V-O?
Girl: No, D-E-V-O.
Employee: That sounds really familiar. Let me go take a look. [Starts to turn]Girl: Yeah, “Whip it!” [Makes whip crack motion]
Employee looks hurt and oblivious as he walks away.
1515 West Highway 114
Grapevine, Texas
Worker #1: Hey, man, you got one of them stick stain remover things?
Worker #2: Hell yes I do!
Worker #1: You know if it work on blood?
3908 Avenue B
Austin, Texas
Administrator: Here’s my theory on drunk driving: People get caught drunk driving because they never learned how to drive drunk when they were kids.
1445 Ross Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Coworker on phone: Honest? I am very honest. I am also very loyal to the company I work for. I give 110% to them every day.
Pause
Coworker on phone: Sure, I can interview with you tomorrow morning.
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
Worker #1: I guess worst case scenario is they call me in for an interview, then shoot me, and kick my dead corpse in the balls.
Worker #2: Yeah. That would be worst case.
3908 Avenue B
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Server King
Data center drone: God! I hate sharing workstations with the night shift. Every day when I come in, my chair smells like ass and the desk smells like armpit. Doesn’t [Tim] ever take a bath?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
Manager: We should try putting up our design pattern library on one of those new . . . kiwis!
Drone: [Sigh] Wikis?
1 Kirkwood Boulevard
Southlake, Texas
Co-worker #1: I just can’t get enough sleep. My mom wakes me up yelling that I get too much sleep, then I drive to work and almost fall asleep!
Co-worker #2: Uh huh.
Co-worker #1: Doesn’t she understand I need my sleep? She’s driving me crazy.
Co-worker #3 [from down the hall]: Why don’t you go to bed earlier, when she puts your jammies out?
6200 Savoy Drive
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Frankendude
Boss: Who is your supervisor?
Intern: Um, technically, you are.
1 University Station
Austin, Texas
Manager: [Tim], are you going over the off-site location?
Intern: Yes, I have to pick up the loaner laptop for [Kelly].
Manager: Can you drop this off to shipping and receiving while you are there? Might as well stone 2 birds.
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
