Programmer: I’m just saying that if, by some miracle Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps and Jerry Falwell had all died in a meteor attack…
Boss: I would convert. Right there. I’d become an instant christian.
Programmer: I would keep the sabbath holy.
Boss: I would keep the sabbath *fucking* holy. Hell, if god can manage to paralyze Paris Hilton from the waist down…
Programmer: I would start to tithe.
Boss: I would start to *fucking* tithe.
Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
HR clerk to room full of tech guys: Hey guys, the men's restroom is going to be closed for a while. The plumber is here.
Senior tech guy: Okay. Our loads are secure.
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Technician #1 to technician #2: When the boss asked me where I was at on the calibration I just thought to myself: “If I stand here very quiet and don’t respond maybe he’ll forget he asked me”.
Avionics Shop, Washington
Tech manager: Okay, I gotta go finish writing this nasty gram to a client.
Account manager: Hurry up! I want puppies. Puppies! Puppies! Puppies! Oops, that sounded bad.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Cindy
IT worker: I am the worst drunk driver ever.
Richmond, Virginia
IT gal: Well, unlike Bob, I'm not that dedicated. I don't look at this stuff on nights and weekends.
Kansas City, Missouri
Boss: Where are the nipples?
Lab employee: Nipples?
Boss: Yah, the nipples. You know, squeezie squeezie?
Lab employee: Do you mean pipette bulbs?
Boss: Whatever.
6275 Nancy Ridge Drive
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Meghan Lake
IT guy: What's wrong?
Foreign IT guy, sniffing: I'm not sure.
IT guy: Don't worry, you're in America now. They'll be stuff wrong with you that you never knew was wrong and whatever it is, there'll be a pill for it.
Foreign IT guy, backing away: Uhhhh… thanks.
Aliso Viejo, California
IT guy: Dude, your computer is so messed up! I just don't know what's going on here!
Engineer: I probably should have told you this before, but my computer rests on top of an ancient Indian burial site, so you are probably going to need a priest.
Ladson, South Carolina
Technician: Man, I gotta go grab a smoke. I’ve been upstairs mixing chemo for hours!
427 Victor Street
Lincolnton, North Carolina
Overheard by: Suzette Truesdell
