Tech People

What Happens When You Think About Things that Don’t Bear Thinking About

IT guy: Oh, good I’m back to the top of your favorite people list.
Sales assistant: What? William* the hot A/C guy got bumped down?
IT guy: William’s gone; he’s off the list.
Sales guy: Isn’t William a gerbil?
Sales assistant: That’s my gerbil! We’re talking about the A/C guy now.
Sales guy: Ask Peter* about gerbil; he likes ’em.
IT guy: Ed breeds the gerbils.
Sales guy: I breed them just for you. Hairless, clawless gerbils.
Peter: Edsgerbils.com!
Sales guy: You don’t want one with claws..
Peter: Go to Edsgerbils.com to get your hairless gerbils.
Sales guy: Don’t forget clawless… you don’t want one with claws.
Office Manager: Stop with the gerbils.
Sales guy, to himself: No… don’t want one with claws….

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

9AM It’s Too Early for This

Woman: There’s something wrong with my computer. There are satellites
and things floating around! Why did you work on my computer? I thought you were done. I have to get my work done! Do you know what you are doing! Fix it!
IT gal: Okay, let me see. I did not work on your system today, let me
look.

Mouse click.

IT gal: …It’s the screensaver.

4411 Beacon Circle
West Palm Beach, Florida

5PM That’s a Wrap

Customer: Is Office 2003 the latest version of Office that’s out?
Salesperson: Yeah, they most likely won’t come out with a new version until Vista is released, which should be about the end of the year.
Customer: What’s that?
Salesperson: Vista?
Customer: Yeah, Rista? What is that? Is that the new Office?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the new operating system that’s coming out. Last I heard Microsoft was planning to release it near the end of this year.
Customer: Microsoft’s going to sell computers now?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the operating system that gets installed on computers. It’s what makes your computer run.
Customer: Oh, yeah, I knew that already. Are you going to be carrying Microsoft’s new computers?

Willard Building
State College, Pennsylvania

From My Big Book Of Awkward Conversation Starters

Male tech #1: Chris, are you pregnant and considering adoption?
Male tech #2: Yes. Wait, what?

Denville, New Jersey

Overheard by: BabakganoosH

1PM Lunch

Manager: These monitors that you are getting rid of; are they any good?
Tech: They are a little fuzzy.
Manager: “A little fuzzy”? What’s “a little fuzzy”?
Tech: You know, like a hamster.

90 Sherman Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts

12PM Call My Best Friends: Maintenance

IT: Yeah, seems like your floor plate is damaged, you’re going to have to clear your books so they can fix it.
Worker: “Books”? is that like cookies on your computer?
IT: …

4 Times Square
New York, NY

Overheard by: KaotiXX

Firing People's Just the Icing on the Cake

IT manager: I wish I worked in HR, they're always either eating cake or firing people.

New York City, New York

…Oh, You Mean That I'm Anal?

Analyst on phone: It's his equipment. I'll shove it in there if it's his equipment. (pause) What do you mean, “that's what they heard about me?”

Skokie, Illinois

This Is So Much Better Than Having On-Site Tech Support

Woman on phone with tech support: Yes, ma'am, I am in front of my computer. That's how I know it's frozen.

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Amazing How Much a Gal Can Fit in Her Flash Drive

IT guy #1, looking at coworker's computer: Yep… We got porn!
IT guy #2: Are you surprised?
IT guy #1: No, not really.
Receptionist, passing by: Oh my god! That's not a dildo, that's an act of war!

Chicago, Illinois

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist