Male suit: Meetings are like suction cups. They stick to things and leave a lasting mark that's tough to clean off. They can be useful in some instances, though they almost always suck, and when they don't suck people try and make them suck in a different location.
Underling: You forgot to add, though, that when they aren't working right, you can always start licking to see it that helps. A little moisture always makes things more interesting.
Central Point, Oregon
Overheard by: Turbo
Suit #1: I called Jim* about that question we had concerning the asset and stock consistency regs’ application to foreign target affiliates.
Suit #2: Yeah? What did he say?
Suit #1: Well, apparently he had a heart attack last week and passed away. I haven’t heard back from him.
Washington, DC
Suit to another: So I am supposed to feel vindicated because my father is a bigger liar than I am?
300 Block of Julia Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: dyslexicMot
Suit: Why do we have Swiss Miss and Nesquik?
Warehouse guy: Ummm, they’re not the same thing.
Suit: How so? They both make hot chocolate!
Warehouse guy: Well, maybe cause Swiss Miss goes in milk and water?
Suit: So why don’t we just keep this around? It’s a multi-tasking hot chocolate!
Warehouse guy: Huh? Ummm, well, maybe people like the way Nesquik ‘multi-tasks.’ It can be put in cold or hot milk. Good for the summer.
Suit: And this can’t?
Warehouse guy: Dunno. Don’t think so…
Suit: Forget it! I’ll have coffee!
The Boulevard
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: CoffeeJunky
Suit on cell: The fog is coming. The fog. I can see it. The fog is coming. The fog.
Oakland, California
Female suit to another: I don't mind the dude with extra fingers making my tamales.
Victoria, Texas
Middle-aged suit #1: Rob always wears the same suit every day, no matter what.
Middle-aged suit #2: Skank.
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Has lower standards
Suit: It was 6 hours of nonstop powerdrinking. My wife was at a Christmas party and asked me to pick her up, and I said, “Even I would not get behind the wheel now!”
350 Madison Ave.
New York, NY
Tall lady: This wind is blowing up in my vagina!
Suit: I thought I heard something.
Taylor Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: stan
