Male cube rat #1: What was that guy's name you just hung up with?
(simultaneously)
Male cube rat #2: What are you doing for lunch?
Female cube rat: Dick.
New York City, New York
Younger coworker: Oh, had her water broken?
Grandmotherly coworker: No, not yet.
Younger coworker: So, what was all the liquid then?
Grandmotherly coworker: I don't know. She's just juicy, I guess.
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: Sorry I caught up with them
Manager: Come here, I've got a job for you.
Employee: I've got a job for you, too. (pause) And bring some chapstick, I don't like the lips to chafe.
Carrboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Pizza girl
Male coworker #1: Well, we played with it enough, it's not hanging out as much.
Male supervisor: Yeah, if you beat on it enough, eventually these things go in.
(uncomfortable silence)
Male supervisor: Do you think I could go see it?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, just make sure you don't pull on it!
Richland, Washington
Overheard by: I think they were talking about a server…
IT guy on phone: Be ready when I get home.
(clicks it to speakerphone)
IT guy’s wife: Well, that is fine but I did not put the butt plug in the freezer yet.
IT guy: (clicks speaker phone off) Hey! Sorry, I know you hate the speakerphone…
Naval Base
Pensacola, Florida
HR rep to coworker: I could, like, totally get a raise if I slept with him.
Coworker: Haven't you already?
Leavenworth, Kansas
Girl coworker to old fashioned receptionist: Hey, I think you should remind Mike* that it's his week to do kitchen duty.
Old fashioned receptionist: I don't think I can do that. Men shouldn't have kitchen duty.
Girl coworker: But he's the bottom.
Old fashioned receptionist: What's a bottom?
Washington, DC
Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…
Alexandria, Virginia
Coworker #1: Dammit, I wanted Tao chai.
Coworker #2: What's stopping you?
Coworker #1: I'm already tea-bagging.
W 26th St
New York City, New York
