Sales guy: If anyone needs Larry* in the warehouse, don’t call. He’s in the dumpster.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Sales guy: If anyone needs Larry* in the warehouse, don’t call. He’s in the dumpster.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Saleswoman: There was this guy in high school that had a crush on me, and he just loved peeps. He would molest peeps all day long…
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Sales girl: Can you believe it? We got no mail yesterday.
Sales boy: I know.
Sales girl: I was so distressed. I mean, there's supposed to be some junk, right?
Gilroy Premium Outlets
Gilroy, California
Overheard by: Fourth Quark
Sales guy on phone: Yeah, we need to quantitate that. Mmm-hmmm. Well, I can’t make ends meet of this spreadsheet.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Shop assistant: Have you got the measurements?
Old woman: My husband put them somewhere safe.
Shop assistant: He can't find them?
Old woman: He died.
(awkward silence)
Shop assistant: I'm sorry.
Old woman: He always was inconsiderate.
Fabric Shop
England
Salesperson, in response to reading a news article: Why would anyone name their pet Booger, then have him cloned?
Customer: I wish aliens would come down and take Paris Hilton away.
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: bearer of randomness
Customer: How powerful is that pressure washer?
Salesman: I’m not sure… Uh… It’s powerful enough to take your toes off…
Honolulu, Hawaii
Male sales manager to female coworker: Yes, I've taken the “Sexual harassment and workplace violence” classes, and I can do both!
Waterloo, Iowa
Sales manager: Sometimes I think I’m having a panic attack. And then I realize I just have to poop.
Nashville, Tennessee
