Property manager to coworker playing soft Celtic music: What is this music? Have we joined a monastery? It makes me want to slit my wrists!
Seattle, Washington
Property manager to coworker playing soft Celtic music: What is this music? Have we joined a monastery? It makes me want to slit my wrists!
Seattle, Washington
Coworker, musing: I wonder what a black gay Mormon would sound like.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Customer: What movie starts next?
Box office girl: That would be Keeping up with the Steins, at 11:55.
Customer: And what’s that about?
Box office girl: I believe family problems around the time of the kid’s bar mitzvah.
Manager [under her breath]: It’s about Jewish people, duh.
Customer: Two for X-Men, please.
510 North Orlando Avenue
Winter Park, Florida
Realtor: Want a cookie?
Investor: Nah, I can’t — it’s not kosher.
Realtor: Sure it is.
Investor: No, I can’t. I’m Jewish. I gotta abide by the law.
Realtor: Come on, it’s just one cookie.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Amused assistant
Coworker #1: He has a penis, you know…
Coworker #2: Who?
Coworker #1: Jesus.
Mountville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Where did that come from?
Receptionist #1: How could we have known what happened 10 thousand years ago if Jesus lived only two thousand years ago?
Receptionist #2: Because people before Jesus wrote things down in the Bible.
Receptionist #1: There were people before Jesus?
1600 Utica Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: the saga continues
Hipster teen on phone: Oh, that was awesome! Like a combination of Fergie and Jesus!
Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, Wisconsin
Overheard by: darkhorse
Gay coworker: I don’t dress up for Halloween, it’s against my religion!
Straight coworker: Oh, is that the same religion you consulted when choosing your sexuality?
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Stoopid like a fox
Lady #1: I thought he was going to be a priest…
Lady #2: No, he got thrown out for coming home drunk from a strip club!
Boston, Massachusetts
