Old lady: Where is your nigger food?
Stocker: Uh, excuse me?
Old lady: You know, the nigger food. The black bird food.
Stocker: You mean the Niger seed?
Old lady: That’s what I said, the nigger seed.
3803 Venture Drive
Duluth, Georgia
Overheard by: I recommend the chink pellets
Secretary: Hey, I haven’t seen you for a while. You been on vacation?
Associate: No, I’ve been here.
Secretary: I just love running into you. You look just like that guy from Whose Line Is It Anyway. That black guy…What’s his name?
Associate: Oh, really? No one’s ever told me that before.
Secretary: It’s ok, right? Because he’s my favorite.
1425 K Street NW
Washington DC
Overheard by: callmeahab
Third grader: Hey, for our project do we gotta write about a black person?
Teacher: No, you don’t have to write about a black person.
Third grader: My mom wants me to write about George Clinton.
Teacher: Do you mean Bill Clinton?
Third grader: Nah, I meant Thomas Jefferson.
Teacher: Oh, he’s okay.
7th Street & Sansom Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Teacher Noga
Coworker #1, looking at map of Canadia: I find it interesting that 90% of the people in Canadia live within 100 miles of the US border.
Coworker #2: Yeah, they're like the white Mexicans.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: durp
African-American co-worker to Caucasian co-worker: You just walked a block through the ghetto to get some chicken? Did you get a five-piece and some biscuits? That’s so black of you.
1555 Central Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio
Girl: So I have this friend with an eight-month-old baby, and she named him ‘Color.’ It’s a little weird, because the baby’s dad is African-American… But the baby looks really white, so that makes it better.
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Coworker #1: Hey, Shaniqua can you hand me that coffee?
Coworker #2 (very angry): My name is not Shaniqua–that's racist. Just because I'm black doesn't mean I have a name like that.
Coworker #1 (defensively): That isn't racism–it's a joke. Calling someone by a name that isn't theirs isn't racist. You shouldn't be so quick to call someone a racist.
Coworker #3 (after some consideration): I thought about what you said earlier and you're right. Besides, everyone is racist to some degree. Even myself. I find that I'm racist against fat people even though I don't mean to be.
Duluth, Georgia
Supervisor to dark-skinned Indian employee: Were you out much this weekend? You are so tan.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Fat old creepy guy interrupting three Asian girls: So how old is this guy?
Asian girl #1 (looking awkwardly at friends): 18.
Asian girl #2: Yeah. (laughs) She likes them young.
Fat old creepy guy: Oooh! (pause) You can train him! Get a collar and a leash and a big stick like the ones my kids use to whack their pigs!
Sacramento, California
Secretary: Aw, look at you. You look so ethnic today.
Intern: Huh?
Secretary: You look like you should be seating people at a Chinese resturaunt.
Intern: Hey!
Secretary: No, in a good way…
72 Wall Street
New York, NY
