Boss: How many servers do you think Google has?
Lackey: Infinite.
Boss: Infinite? You’re a retard.
15 Alatarinda Road
Orinda, California
Overheard by: choking on a brownie
Boss: How many servers do you think Google has?
Lackey: Infinite.
Boss: Infinite? You’re a retard.
15 Alatarinda Road
Orinda, California
Overheard by: choking on a brownie
Employee #1: Where the hell were you?
Employee #2: In the bathroom.
Employee #1: For twenty minutes? God, I thought you were sleeping with the feces.
320 17 Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Supervisor: Can you pull out of there now?
Peon: I'm not quite done with it yet.
Sacramento, California
Finance clerk: Every time she comes in here, he grabs it and pulls it out, and she runs away.
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Receptionitis
Co-worker #1: So do they have offices in the Northern part of Texas?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, like up in that chimney portion of the state.
Co-worker #1: Oh. I’ll show you a fire.
Co-worker #2: What?
611 North Broadway
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Receptionist: He’s not in, may I take a message?…No, we don’t have voice mail, but I’ll be happy to take a message…I write it on a piece of paper and had it to him when he comes in.
1718 Villa Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
Boss, during full staff meeting: So I asked him, “why does a person need semen to mow the lawn?”
Underling, quietly, to no one in particular: Does she know that's a double entendre?
Presenter, loudly: So back to the operating budget…
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: No you did not
Manager: Why does it smell like salami in here?
Tech: I ran out of milk, so I had to have salami for breakfast.
Manager: Uhh…what?
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: fleeing from the salami stench
Boss: It was some chick college…
Minion: I have to ask, was it an Asian chick college?
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: outside laughing
Female coworker: I received your collections file for the $57,700.00 claim. Have you run an asset check on this lady to see if she has anything we can file suit against?
Male coworker: No. When I spoke to her she sounded barefoot, pregnant, and poor. Like she was living with someone else.
Female coworker: I didn't realize you could get all of that from someone's voice.
Male coworker: I'm crunk. I'm good.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Not Crunk
