Coworker: How many people in your household?
Client: 3 souls and 1 body.
Duluth, Minnesota
Coworker #1: [taking on the phone.]Coworker #2: Do you sleep in a butter dish or something?
Coworker #1: [continues talking on the phone.]
Houston, Texas
Worker #1: Oh, damn! Would you look at that? I have on two different pair of shoes.
Worker #2: You’re just now relizing that? The day’s almost over with…what a dumbass!
Worker #1: Yeah whatever, maybe I’ll switch them out tomorrow. At least they are the same color.
210 Main Street
Dallas, Georgia
Lawyer #1: I now ask that this binder be admitted into evidence.
Lawyer #2: We would object to that, Your Honor.
Judge: What is your basis for introducing this into evidence?
Lawyer #1: The “moving things along faster” basis.
Judge: Denied.
500 Pearl Street
New York, NY
Male coworker #1: Was she here yesterday?
Male coworker #2, as unknown object goes flying by overhead: Of course she was here, don't you remember throwing things at her all day?
Department of National Defence
Ottawa
Canadia
Maintenance idiot: How do you think they came up with that whole groundhog thing?
Electronics clerk: What groundhog thing?
Maintenance idiot: You know, the groundhog sees his shadow and we have six more months of winter. How do you think they came up with that idea?
Electronics clerk: Ummmm… It’s six weeks…
Maintenance idiot: I bet it was all of those animal activist settlers back when they came to America, or something.
Electronics clerk: Animal activist settlers?
Ft. Smith, Arkansas
Overheard by: i love my job
Technician: Hi, can I get under your desk for a second to look at your box?
1440 Broadway
New York, NY
Interviewer: In you medical record it states you had tuberculosis, how did you come across that?
Former sailor/job seeker: I dunno… Probably the whorehouses.
La Plata, Maryland
Overheard by: Got the job ayway!
Coworker to office administrator: Why did you send me this e-mail twice?
Office admin: Because they sent it to me twice.
Coworker: So why did you send it to me twice?
Office admin: Because I thought it would only take you five seconds to delete.
Coworker: Didn't you look at it before you sent it to me?
Office admin: Yes… but I didn't send you the pornographic e-mail that came in before that one!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Boss, with customer on phone, to secretary: Mr Smith* says he doesn't understand this bill you sent him.
Secretary, quietly, from across the room: It isn't complicated, can't he read?
Boss, loudly, next to phone: Yes, he can read!
Winchester, Virginia
