Physical therapist: Where did you get the cake?
Teacher: BJ's.
Physical therapist: Oh! I love BJ's!
Manhattan, New York
Awkward intern: Did you have a menage a trois?
Coworker: What? No.
Awkward intern: I bet you did. Wait, what's a menage a trois?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: tC
Art director: Does anyone want to see a baby wrestle a cobra?
West Sahara Avenue
Las Vegas, Nevada
Queer employee: Don’t we have any hard candy to suck on?
5200 Blue Lagoon Drive
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Lizzo
Manager: You going to an interview or something?
Sales dude: Yeah. Like my tie?
Manager: It looks like whipped cream on a turd. Good luck.
1 Thomas Drive
Westbrook, Maine
Boss: Are we not paying you enough, that you have to come in wearing those shoes?
Cute female receptionist: What's wrong with my shoes?
Boss: They're covered in scuff marks.
Cute female receptionist: Stop being so superficial! And they're not scuff marks, it's pigeon crap.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Dasma
Male coworker: Who was the other guy in CHIPS? Not Erik Estrada, the other one.
Female coworker: It was officer Johnathan Baker and… Arthur Poncharelli?
Glastonbury, Connecticut
Overheard by: James Logan
Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.
Midtown Building
New York City, New York
Receptionist: Would you like to keep the box it came in?
Admin: Hmm… No, it's okay, thanks.
(later)
Receptionist: That box was really cool because it just folds down. You don't have to cut any tape off because it doesn't need tape.
Admin: Damn! Missed out on a good one.
Receptionist: It's still here!
Admin: I think I have too many. But how often do you come across a really great box?
Receptionist: What have our lives come to?
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: cardboard cut
Auto salesman: When are you due?
Young woman: Two weeks. I can’t wait for this to be over.
Auto salesman: This is just the beginning! The baby is much more work.
Young woman: No, I mean, I can’t wait to not be such a fatass. I hate fat people.
Auto salesman: Uh-huh.
Young woman: Can you imagine how many people get abortions because they don’t want to be fat?
Auto salesman, after long pause: I can honestly say that no, I cannot imagine that.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Purely horrified
