Manager looking at engineering drawing: Where are my nuts?
Everett, Washington
Manager looking at engineering drawing: Where are my nuts?
Everett, Washington
Magazine Editor: Can you help me? I think the stapler’s broken…See it’s broken because it doesn’t have any staples.
350 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Employee #1: Ok, I’m taking breakfast orders for the meeting, what do you guys want?
Employee #2: Ummm, I’ll have the western omelette.
Employee #1: Ok.
Employee #2: Oh, wait…are there eggs in that?
Employee #1: Uh, yeah!
Employee #2: Okay then!
Falls Church, Virginia
Overheard by: You’ve got to be kidding
New girl, during one of her constant personal calls: Don't you find it insulting to be a Democrat?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Karen
Managing director: Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?”
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn't said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.
London
England
Overheard by: Who's Frank?
Professor: Given the above table, who thinks penguin milk has less fat than seal milk?
Half the class raises their hands.
Professor: How many think penguin milk has more fat than seal milk?
Other half raises their hands.
Professor to TA: This is a bad sign.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: someone easily tricked at 8am sans coffee
Office drone #1: Hey, did you know the new guy was a mix? Yeah, he's half Haitian and half Mexican.
Office drone #2: Really, no way!
Office drone #1: Yeah, really!
Office drone #2: Hmmm, shows what I know about people, I thought he was white.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
Executive in meeting: Oh, you brought cold water?
Assistant: Yes, ice water.
Executive: Very nice! Where'd you find ice?
Assistant: In the freezer.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Christine
Manager lady #1: I guess I stocked up -I mean, I got Doritos! Do those count?
Manager lady #2: Yeah, they do, they’re one of the food groups.
[pause]In unison: Corn.
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: can’t believe i work with them
Cashier to bagger: My mom is picking me up because I can't drive until I find my glasses, I lost them and only have my contacts in.
Bagger: So? You can't drive with your contacts?
Cashier: My license says that I must wear corrective lenses!
Atlantic Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sharyn
