Professor: Given the above table, who thinks penguin milk has less fat than seal milk?
Half the class raises their hands.
Professor: How many think penguin milk has more fat than seal milk?
Other half raises their hands.
Professor to TA: This is a bad sign.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: someone easily tricked at 8am sans coffee
Office drone #1: Hey, did you know the new guy was a mix? Yeah, he's half Haitian and half Mexican.
Office drone #2: Really, no way!
Office drone #1: Yeah, really!
Office drone #2: Hmmm, shows what I know about people, I thought he was white.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
Executive in meeting: Oh, you brought cold water?
Assistant: Yes, ice water.
Executive: Very nice! Where'd you find ice?
Assistant: In the freezer.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Christine
Manager lady #1: I guess I stocked up -I mean, I got Doritos! Do those count?
Manager lady #2: Yeah, they do, they’re one of the food groups.
[pause]In unison: Corn.
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: can’t believe i work with them
Cashier to bagger: My mom is picking me up because I can't drive until I find my glasses, I lost them and only have my contacts in.
Bagger: So? You can't drive with your contacts?
Cashier: My license says that I must wear corrective lenses!
Atlantic Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sharyn
Awkward intern: Did you have a menage a trois?
Coworker: What? No.
Awkward intern: I bet you did. Wait, what's a menage a trois?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: tC
Art director: Does anyone want to see a baby wrestle a cobra?
West Sahara Avenue
Las Vegas, Nevada
Queer employee: Don’t we have any hard candy to suck on?
5200 Blue Lagoon Drive
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Lizzo
Manager: You going to an interview or something?
Sales dude: Yeah. Like my tie?
Manager: It looks like whipped cream on a turd. Good luck.
1 Thomas Drive
Westbrook, Maine
