Paper-white new dad: Would like you to see a picture of my son?
Coworker: Oh, he's so cute! What ethnicity is your wife?
Paper-white new dad: She's Spanish.
Coworker: Oh, I love brown babies.
Paper-white new dad: What, excuse me?
West 22nd Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Phil F.
Operations manager: What are some of your goals?
New hire: I want to have babies!
Operations manager: Ok… Do you have any goals in regards to your future with our company?
New hire: Sure, I want to do my job right, but I was really just born to have babies.
Dallas Parkway
Dallas
Overheard by: Addy
Random stranger: Is that the ATM from upstairs?
Worker, hauling ATM down hallway: Yep.
Random stranger: So now I can't get money upstairs?
Worker: Oh, no. The money's still there in a pile. Just take what you need.
Bethesda, Maryland
Worker #1 referring to a computer file titled as her name: Are you in me?
Worker #2: Yeah, I'm in you.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: a little small
Older lady: The bag can't go through the ass! I'm writing him an e-mail. He's taking this shit back.
Younger lady: Hey, are we allowed to drop the s-bomb on packaging?
Yonkers, New York
Overheard by: Jay B
Boss: You like that little tool, don't you?
Worker: The keyboard? Yeah, it's great.
Uniontown, Ohio
CSR: Oh, you work on computers? You probably know more than I do so this should be an easy call, huh?
25 Brooklyn Avenue
Forsyth, Georgia
Girl coworker: I'll e-mail the help desk…I'll just say “please help us, help desk.” Ahahah! I 'm so funny.
Guy coworker: Okay, good idea. You're typing all in caps.
Girl coworker: I know! That's because everything is in capitals on my computer.
Guy coworker: Um, you have the cap locks on.
Girl coworker: What is that?
Guy coworker: The caps lock key on your keyboard?
Girl coworker: Oh, no! My computer is just all caps.
Guy coworker: No, just do this. (does it) See? Now you're not in caps anymore.
Girl coworker: Oh my gosh! You are so smart! Oh! Thank you so much! Oooohhh! Let me retype my e-mail to the help desk! “Please help us, help desk.” That's so funny! “Please help us, help desk.”
Northern California
Female coworker: Are you busy? Do you have a sec?
Male coworker, distractedly: Sure, I have lots of secs. (looks up, realizes what he just said) Go away and come back and start this conversation over again, please.
Female coworker: Excuse me, but do you have a moment?
Rome, New York
Coworker to another, during lunch: Would you know a maggot if you saw one?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Glad they didn't bring anything back for me.
