Redneck salesman #1: Don't you have a customer coming into the showroom?
Redneck salesman #2: I sure do, but if she's there when I walk in I'm gonna walk right by because I have got to take a shit.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: crittle monkey
Redneck salesman #1: Don't you have a customer coming into the showroom?
Redneck salesman #2: I sure do, but if she's there when I walk in I'm gonna walk right by because I have got to take a shit.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: crittle monkey
Employee #1: Dude, have you ever dreamed with your eyes open?
Employee #2: Uh… Yeah, it's called thinking.
Pomona, California
Bored cubicle rat: That's my penis? It looks like a leg!
Marysville, Washington
Coworker to another: Are you a Yankee fan or a baseball fan?
E 42nd street
New York City, New York
Office assistant on the phone in cubicle: Who's your deddy, who's your deddy? Who's your deddy, who's your deddy, who's your deddy?
Michigan Ave
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: It ain't me, that's for sure!
Guy: I have to go see my mom, she just had her hip replaced.
Intern: Where is “hipper place”?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: JDS
Kid with glasses: …and the last one comes out on Saturday!
Biker-looking dad: Would you stop with your Harry Potter dorkiness? Why can't you be obsessed with something worthwhile? Like personal finance!
Aberdeen, Maryland
Shipping clerk: What time is it in Virginia? Are they ahead of us or behind us?
Shipping manager: They're to the right of us.
Shipping clerk: Huh?
Shipping manager: Virginia is on the East Coast. The same east that the sun rises on.
Shipping clerk (after some thought): Okay, so it's earlier there?
Shipping manager: No, it's later by one hour.
Shipping clerk (after a little more thought): How can it be later in Virginia if the sun is still rising there? It's been up here for a few hours now!
Des Moines, Iowa
Four-year-old boy: Mom…mom, I have to go potty.
Mom: Okay… Just a minute.
Four-year-old boy: Mom… Mom…I have to gooooo.
Mom: Okay…I said in just a minute.
Grandmother (standing up): I'll take him.
Mom: That's okay, I'll take him.
(grandmother turns away to sit down)
Four-year-old boy: Mom, I just gotta go to!
Mom: Okay honey… Just hold it for one second!
Four-year-old boy: Hold what?
Mexican Restaurant
Huntsville, Alabama
Overheard by: Melonia S
Customer: Can you please put me on your do-not-call list?
Telemarketer: Sure… how do you spell that?
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Bored!
