General manager: If there's a problem report immediately, don't wait for an opportune moment.
Teenage intern: Is that a real word?
General manager: What? “Opportune”?
Teenage intern: No, “moment.”
Derry, New Hampshire
General manager: If there's a problem report immediately, don't wait for an opportune moment.
Teenage intern: Is that a real word?
General manager: What? “Opportune”?
Teenage intern: No, “moment.”
Derry, New Hampshire
Lady #1: How do I go there?
Lady #2: Take a train.
Lady #1: But I'm not sure where it goes.
Lady #2: I think it goes to the train station up there.
Lynchburg, Virginia
Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?
Office creepster: I just always wondered what it'd be like to poke you.
Office hottie: Oh. It didn't do much for me. How was it for you?
Office creepster: Fucking magic!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
Male coworker: It's small but mighty.
Female coworker #1: Hey, it's not the size that matters!
Male coworker: You're right, it's the bandwidth!
(laughter)
Female coworker #2: We are still talking about the analytics department, right?
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Mandy
Loan officer #1: Wouldn't a 55-and-over development have lower market value because your applicant pool is so small?
Loan officer #2: No way, there's a ton of old people.
Eastern Shore, Maryland
Manager: So to get to know each other a little better I'm going to ask you all to answer this question: if you were an animal, what would it be? I'd be a cat, I think.
Cashier #1: A chinchilla. They're cute.
Cashier #2: A guinea pig, because they're awesome.
Cashier #3: A bird, so I could shit on anybody who tried to shit on me.
(long awkward pause)
Manager: Okay. That's a good answer too.
Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania
Overtly loud coworker: Oh, it smells good back here… Are you burning something?
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Light one Up!
Sales rep, about clients coming in later: Just so you know, one of them is deaf.
Secretary: Oh. Should we have printed some of the reports in braille?
Austin, Texas
Middle aged CSR #1: Am I flashing or is it hot in here?
Middle aged CSR #2: It's not just you. I'm totally flashing, like a retard!
20-something CSR, laughing: You're flashing like a what?
Middle aged CSR #2: A retard. You know… Like those people who have nothing on underneath their trench coats, and they flash people. You know, those crazy people.
Aliso Viejo, California
