Boss to intern: Oh, you're from Kentucky! Is there anything important there?
Kentucky-born intern: Uh, the gold vault.
Boss: (blank stare)
Kentucky-born intern: You know, Fort Knox.
Boss: Oh, yeah! That's where they get the saying “She's locked up tighter than Fort Knox!”
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Assistant to another: You ever have someone come up to you and give you a present from their diaper?
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Topsy Krets
Distraught manager: My William Shatner pictures are gone! What happened to my Shats?! [Sigh] Life is like a box of crap…
720 Executive Park Drive
Greenwood, Indiana
Male buyer: Did you take care of Tina's Johnson?
Female buyer: (blank stare)
Male buyer: Well, that didn't sound right now, did it?
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Cupcake
Female coworker: How old is your girlfriend's son?
Male coworker: 17. He sometimes sleeps in bed with her.
Female coworker: What? What?!
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Grossed Out
Boss: Did you draw on my banana?
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Technician #1 to technician #2: When the boss asked me where I was at on the calibration I just thought to myself: “If I stand here very quiet and don’t respond maybe he’ll forget he asked me”.
Avionics Shop, Washington
Military personnel: Adam* looks like hell this morning — like he was smoking crack all night. Adam, you are a civilian, right?
Adam: Yes.
Military personnel: Ah, then it’s alright. You don’t get drug-tested like us. Smoke all the crack you want.
Washington, DC
Worker #1: How was your weekend?
Worker #2: Good. I almost got married; the usual.
393 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Jess McGins
VP: She was mean! She said, “I guess I’ll just have to come up to New York and kill you then.”
Assistant: Was she being sarcastic?
VP: I think so.
30 E. 33rd Street
New York, NY
