VP: Did you see the numbers today?
Marketing Manager: No. Is it bad?
VP: No. We’re up.
Marketing Manager: We are?
VP: Yeah. Yesterday we were down 4.31, today we’re up 0.51%. I mean, the goal was 10% so we’re not out of the woods.
Marketing Manager: So it’s like they’ve given us a year to live, not six months?
VP: Something like that.
16430 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Miel Durand
Systems Engineer: How long will it take for you to implement [the customer]’s changes?
Engineer: About two-three weeks. So four weeks.
Systems Engineer: Good. And how long will it take you to make your changes?
Intern: Well, I already did it, and it took an hour.
Systems Engineer: Okay, I’ll tell them five weeks total.
1440 N. Fiesta Boulevard
Gilbert, Arizona
Office chick #1: Wow, I didn’t know *Lisa was so religious.
Office chick #2: Oh really, what kind of religion is she?
Office chick #1: I dunno, like Jesus and stuff.
CTI Building
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Coworker #1: What is that, you heart monitor or something?
Coworker #2: No, it's Window's Media Player.
Media, Pennsylvania
Boss: What do you think of blood dye?
3120 Lincoln Park Avenue
Los Angeles, California
Salesman: I need you need to move these squares over here on the plan.
Engineer: You mean the rectangles?
Salesman: Geez–you engineers and your math. Yeah, whatever.
Auburn Hills, Michigan
Sales rep, on the phone with a client: Well, why don’t you tell me how big yours is, and I’ll tell you how big mine is.
Coker Tire
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Coworker #1: Say, does anyone know where Santa Clarita is?
Coworker #2: Umm, I'm not sure actually. I'm not really good at geology.
Los Angeles, California
Waiter, at new copy machine: Which way does this go in: face down or up, sideways or lengthways?…You’re not going to tell me, are you?
Manager: We’ve got plenty of paper over there; keep trying until you get it right.
45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Intern #1: How did the interview go?
Intern #2: You know how punctuality is a good thing?
Intern #1: Oh my gosh, were you late?
Intern #2: No, I was two weeks early.
1150 17th Street NW
Washington, DC
