Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!
Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York
Female receptionist to male receptionist: Since you're going to lunch in 20 minutes, can you fill up my water bottle?
Male receptionist: Can you blow me?
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Overheard by: gb
Coworker #1: So, I had this dream last night. I was looking at the ceiling, and a rat wearing sunglasses peeked out at me from the air conditioning vent.
Coworker #2, catching the end of the conversation: Was this a dream?
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Despite all my rage…
Coworker: Do you know how many inches are in a yard?
Receptionist: Whose yard?
El Segundo, California
Overheard by: Dave
Facilities guy, as five IT staffers walk past: What is this, it on parade?
IT guy: Yes, we ran out of pink elephants.
Seattle, Washington
Construction worker #1: So you know how I knew you were gay?
Construction worker #2: WHAT?
Construction worker #1: It’s cool, dude. But know how I knew?
Construction worker #2: [shakes head]Construction worker #1: When you started making out with me at happy hour last week.
Construction worker #2: Oh. Oh, yeah.
1670 Broadway
Denver, Colorado
Worker: So, what did the phone company says about the phone line?
Boss: I don't know. The robot pick up the phone! I hate talking to a robot, so I hung up.
Greenwich Village
Manhattan, New York
Sales #1: So what do they get in the three piece table, lamp and mirror set?
Sales #2: You’re kidding, right?
Sales #1: No really, what do they get?
Sales #2: Idiot.
2500 South Rochester Road
Rochester Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: Jenny Schneider
Admin #1: I have to have my green tea to protect me from other people's colds!
Coworker: It's too early for cold season. Yes, do whatever it takes to stay healthy.
Admin #1: Yes, and I also like echinacea but dont have any.
Admin #2: Ah, I like euthanasia too.
(pause)
Admin #2: Wait, what's the difference between euthanasia and echinacea anyways?
Fairfield County, Connecticut
