Office dweller: Hey, why do you have nuts hanging above your door?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Office dweller: Hey, why do you have nuts hanging above your door?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Supervisor to dark-skinned Indian employee: Were you out much this weekend? You are so tan.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Designer: How are you on vaccuum-packed sausage wieners?
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
[In the ER.]Nurse #1: Oh my god.
Nurse #2: What?
Nurse #1, looking horrified: I just entered all of these notes on the wrong patient’s file.
Nurse #2: It’s okay. Just go back, delete, and re-enter them for the right patient.
Nurse #1, distressed at herself: But that’s awful! What would have happened?
Nurse #2, shrugging: ‘s’okay, happens all the time.
Hospital
Beckley, West Virginia
Data entry worker #1: So I told her I need special glasses because of my stigmata.
Data entry worker #2: Your what?
Data entry worker #1: My stigmata.
Data entry worker #2: You have stigmata?
Data entry worker #1: Yeah.
Data entry worker #2: You suffer the wounds of Jesus?
Data entry worker #1: What?
Passing supervisor: She means her “astigmatism.”
Data entry worker #2: Like in my eyes.
Data entry worker #1: (laughs hysterically)
Bridgeton, Missouri
Overheard by: Ready for Jesus
VP: This’ll be the director’s Easter present to you.
Coordinator: Oh, you mean I don’t get any eggs this year?
VP: No, you don’t.
Coordinator: Well, can you at least hide it so I can find it?
VP: Yes, we can do that.
900 Simpson Street
St. Paul, Minnesota
Female coworker #1: Wow, is that guy old?
Female coworker #2: Yeah.
Female coworker #1: I was wondering, since you were writing his will. He seemed all “grrrrrrr”'!
Female coworker #2: Yeah… He's married.
Utica, New York
Overheard by: Internet Meme
Boss: Okay, who’s not afraid of fire?
McLean, Virginia
Coworker #1 to coworkers #2 and #3, about their attire: You guys are opposites today. Actually, you cancel each other out. You're, like, invisible! (looks around) Wh… Wh… Where'd they go?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: what a spectacle…
