Is Anyone Feeling a Little Dirty After All This Pie Talk?

Cashier, answering phone: Hello, Baker’s Square. [Pause.]Cashier, incredulous: Do we sell pies? [Pause.]Cashier, boastful: We were voted best pies in the world, we entered a contest and won. [Pause.]Cashier, sober: Yes, we sell pies. [Pause.]Cashier, indignant: A barbecue pie? I never heard of such a thing in my entire life. [Pause.]Cashier, impatient: Ma’am, did you have a specific question? I’m pretty busy. [Pause.]Cashier, puzzled: [Hangs up.]

Silicon Valley, California

Overheard by: My Good Ear

Posted on March 10, 2018
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

Should Be Tattooed on Your Inner Thigh

Sales guy to customer: Can I have your date of birth and expiration date?

University of North Texas
Denton, Texas

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on March 6, 2018
Dumb Employees, Questions, Texas

1PM Lunch

Worker #1: Today was like International Day at McDonalds this morning. Not one person spoke with a Midwest accent…I was gonna be like, “Oh, they are so fucking up my breakfast.”
Worker #2: Did you hear that there are more terrorists in Ohio?
Worker #1: Yeah? First they want to blow up our malls here in the city, now kill the President. They are always in Ohio. You never hear about them in like, Montana. That’s where the Nazis are.
Worker #3: Yeah, the terrorists are up there on the 4th floor…You should go up there.
Worker #2: I’m not going up there.
Worker #1: They do have a nice floor up there.

1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on March 2, 2018
Advice, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, Office Politics, Ohio, Questions, Violence

4PM Coffee Break

Coworker #1: Was it a Woody Allen movie?
Coworker #2: No, it was a comedy.

1865 Grandstand
Elgin, Illinois

Posted on March 1, 2018
Coworkers, Illinois, Insults, Questions

An Automated Lemon Spray, for Example

Female manager to the ladies in the office: Are you trying to kill me? If you're going to use the lemon spray in the ladies room please spray upwards and not down on the floor. If you're trying to kill me, there are better ways…

Los Angeles, California

Posted on February 25, 2018
Admins, Advice, California and Northwest, Death, Questions

I'll Be Right Over

Department head on phone, talking about screws and fasteners: A Tek 5 should work fine… What? Did you just say “super woody”?

New Braunfels, Texas

Overheard by: That Guy

Posted on February 23, 2018
Body Parts, Bosses, On the phone, Questions, Texas, Weirdness, Words

5PM Enjoy the Weekend, Everyone

Boss: Have a great Christmas, everyone. I’m going to go see my new grandkid.
Secretary: Aw. You have a new grandchild? Is this the first time
you’ll see it?
Boss: Yeah, they’re delivering by C-section on Wednesday.

2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri

Posted on February 21, 2018
Bosses and Underlings, Family, Health & Hygiene, Missouri, Questions, Receptionists

In Totally Unrelated News, Burrito Party at Ted's Next Week!

Worker bee #1: Hey, have you ever been at your buddies' house and really had to fart, but you didn't want to so you held it in for the longest time, but then you finally had to let it go, and just as you do his mom walks down the stairs?
Worker bee #2: I really have no idea what to say to that.
Worker bee #1: Yeah, it's never happened to me either, though I guess it's only a matter of time.

Lethbridge
Alberta
Canadia

Posted on February 21, 2018
Canadia, Coworkers, Family, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Weirdness

…Guess I Shouldn't Have Added Those Obscene Drawings, Then.

Male coworker: Who drew sperm next to the happy birthday shoutouts on the white board?
Female coworker: Those are balloons.

Kennesaw, Georgia

Posted on February 20, 2018
Coworkers, Georgia, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

Would the Letter “E” Work for You, Ma'am?

CSR to client: You want the number 3 capitalized?

Oxford, Mississippi

Posted on February 20, 2018
Customer Service, Customer Support, Customers, Mississippi, Questions, Wishes

Questions