Male coworker #1: Do you know anything about buying a prom dress?
Male coworker #2: Hell no.
Male coworker #1: Well, I need one pronto!
Washington, DC
Male coworker #1: Do you know anything about buying a prom dress?
Male coworker #2: Hell no.
Male coworker #1: Well, I need one pronto!
Washington, DC
Guy, coming out of the men’s room: Wait. Someone actually stole the posters… from around the urinal?
Comic book guy: Don’t ask me to explain it.
Guy: Were they unfamiliar with the concept of nerd hygiene?
Broadway
New York City, New York
Boss: Can you help me with this Word document? I want to change it so that the layout is horizontal instead of vertical.
Secretary: Okay, go into File, then Page Setup.
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: You see where it says “Page Source”?
Boss: Yep.
Secretary: Okay. Now you see where it says “Orientation”? Make your choice.
Boss: Gay or straight?
525 Collins Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Captain Pants
Woman to group: Do you any of you know Sally*?
Group members, shaking heads: No
Woman: Just as well, she just quit.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Coworker #1: Did you inhale?
Coworker #2: I never exhaled!
Branchburg, New Jersey
Coworker: You have kids?
New guy: Yeah, two. You?
Coworker: No, but we started trying.
New guy: Are you kidding? This is the greatest time of your life. I know a guy whose wife did all role playing–you know–when they were trying. Said he never had better sex…ever!
Coworker: (blushes).
Court & Montague
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: INQ
Director: You were wearing a tube top and you *still* got a ticket?
Indianapolis, Indiana
Customer: Hey, where's my fucking wasabi, bitch?
Sushi girl: I don't think you asked for…
Manager: I don't know. But I can tell you this–it'll be up your fucking arse if your manners don't improve.
Sushi girl: Wanker!
Manager: Don't swear at work.
Adelaide, Australia
Worker bee #1: Your car doesn’t get very good mileage, does it?
Worker bee #2: Well, it gets 21 on the highway.
Worker bee #1: Do you do any highway driving?
Worker bee #2: No, not really.
Main Street
Spencer, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Paul Skarmeas
Professor: So we'll have lab meeting on Monday, then.
Grad student: Um, that's Labor Day, so people will probably be away.
Professor: Away? Why?
Grad student: Because it's a federal holiday?
Professor: Well, we're not federal, so we don't take federal holidays.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
