Coworker to admin: Might sound weird, and I never thought I'd have to say this, but you look pretty good as a zombie.
McKinney, Texas
Coworker to admin: Might sound weird, and I never thought I'd have to say this, but you look pretty good as a zombie.
McKinney, Texas
Photographer during photo shoot: Wow! We're really gonna need to Photoshop you!
Denver, Colorado
Programmer #1: Never trust a fuckin' midget.
Programmer #2: Oh, yeah? Well, never trust a fuckin' fag who's sworn off fuckin'.
Memphis, Tennessee
Lawyer on phone: You know Bob* in the development office, the bald guy with the peg leg? Man, I am always having these Freudian slips around him that are so inappropriate. Like one time, we were talking about girls and he came in and I asked “what about you, Bob, are you a leg man?”
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Cubicle worker #1: I was just next to what I commonly refer to as a “master blaster” in the men's john a minute ago…
Cubicle worker #2: Go on…
Cubicle worker #1: I think he barely had a chance to get his pants down before the gates of hell opened and all were consumed with fire and explosions of various forms…
Cubicle worker #1: I was trying not to laugh in the stall next door.
Cubicle worker #2: What the fuck!
Cubicle worker #1: It just goes to show. No matter how nice a person's shoes, they can still be ugly on the inside. His shoes were very nice, after all. A black patent leather cap toe, I believe.
Cubicle worker #2: Everyone shits.
Cubicle worker #1: I didn't get too good a look in my haste to retreat, lest I have to endure uncomfortable eye contact subsequently.
Moreno Valley, California
Overheard by: Joe P
50-year-old receptionist, about interviewee: I didn't like her. The interviewers aren't going to like her. She's not going to get the job. I can just tell these things.
Recruiter: What did she do that you didn't like about her?
50-year-old receptionist: Her shoes were too big for her. Probably a half size, maybe even a whole size too big! Ugh! (rolls eyes)
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: yikes
Secretary to two male managers, similarly dressed: I didn't get the memo. How do you guys find out what to wear each day?
Manager #1: We roll over and ask “what are you wearing today?”
Manager #2: Yeah, and… Ewww!
Kansas City, Missouri
HR director: You guys aren't what I expected. I expected something less professional. I didn't expect suits.
Sales guy: Well, we expected you to be fat and ugly.
Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas
Coworker, on phone on other side of cubicle: No, no, you don't look like Barney. You look good.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Now I've Got That Song In My Head
Random guy to male coworker #1: I don't know you, man, but you look great in that beard.
Male coworker #2: Oh man, you got dudes giving you compliments now!
Male coworker #1: I think it's time for it to go.
Copley Square
Boston, Massachusetts
