Cube dweller: I hear you got a new person in your department. That should help with the load.
IT geek: Yeah. Too bad she's fat and ugly.
Cube dweller: But you'd fuck her anyway if you got the chance. Right?
IT geek (sighing): Yeah, I probably would.
Woodland Hills, California
Overheard by: Gunboat
Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Nurse: Where are your pants [Tobias]?
AlcoHobo: I must have forgotten to put them on before I left the house.
North Terrace
Adelaide, South Australia
Older office drone to younger office drone: Look at yourself. You're a mess. I know your wife is pregnant, but does that mean she doesn't know how to iron anymore?
Sleepy Hollow, New York
Overheard by: MSG
Coworker: So they were a nice group of girls.
Boss: Were they bright?
Coworker: Not overly. They were, umm, nice.
Boss: That's good. I like that. (both walk out the door)
Toronto
Canadia
Sales girl: We have a sale on sports bras!
Largely endowed woman: I can't wear sports bras. They make me look like I have a uniboob.
Texas
Overheard by: silentinthecorner
Yuppie analyst #1: Dude, that girl you took home last night was maybe a 3.
Yuppie analyst #2: I mean…it was my birthday, I had way too much to drink, I… (pauses) You're right…no excuses…she was a total farm animal.
New York City, New York
Newbie: So Diane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Seasoned worker: I don't think they like the term “dirty.”
Newbie: Oh yeah, my girlfriend kinda likes being called “dirty.”
Seasoned worker: I meant the hair color.
Newbie: I know!
Inverness Work Plex
Denver, Colorado
Cube dude: I don’t mean this to be harsh, but, you know, the Talmud wasn’t exactly written just to justify your fashion choices.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
